Friday, April 12, 2024

Is D&G’s Latest Light Blue Flanker Summer Vibes Or Bad Vibes?

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Though they certainly have their defenders, the Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue perfumes strike fear and loathing into the hearts of many perfume nerds. I am one of them. The female variant of Light Blue is a pretty harmless summer fragrance centered around lemon and bamboo. The male version, however, is basically Boring Shampoo Intense for Men. Now, this wouldn’t really be a bad thing on its own – if you don’t like it, don’t wear it, right? The cold, cold truth of the matter is that Light Blue is everywhere. Through some miracle of marketing, Dolce & Gabbana have managed to make Light Blue one of the most instantly-recognizable summer fragrances out there. I’ve had several friends tell me it’s their favorite fragrance and struggled to tone down my reaction to a simple ‘it’s not for me’ while the pretentious, overly-concerned perfume junkie inside writhes in pain.

I cannot really explain why I decided to cover Dolce & Gabbana’s latest flankers this week. Perhaps there is some masochistic part of my brain that managed to crawl out of the sewers and take control for a few key hours. Maybe I simply couldn’t resist the admittedly cool-looking bottles, or the hilariously zoomer ‘summer vibes’ subtitles. Or it could be – somehow – that the flankers of one of my least-favorite fragrances could be a miracle of slight tweaks, two new spins that shake off the faults of their predecessors to create something surprising and functional. Let’s start with the more hopeful of the two.

Light Blue Summer Vibes for Women notes

Top Note: Bergamot

Middle Note: Peach

Base Note: Cedar

It’s sweet lemonade. Harmless, really, but unremarkable. This version of Summer Vibes reminds me most of Brown Sugar by Fresh, a fragrance I quite like, but this one lacks the sparkle and balance of Brown Sugar and loses its luster startlingly fast. By the time you’re thirty minutes in, you’re left with a wispy, sweet, amorphously fruity fragrance that’s indistinguishable from any number of high-school feminine lotion scents. The peach is the ‘star’ of the show here, hinting of something going on below the surface (there’s not.) You’d think that the tenth flanker of a popular fragrance would be pointless (it is). The only way you could convince me to own this fragrance in any form would be if you gave me an empty bottle of it, which I would then attempt to rid of the fragrance’s name with paint remover or something. The upside? It’s not nearly as bad as the masculine version.

Light Blue Summer Vibes for Men notes

Top Note: Lemon

Middle Note: Cypress

Base Note: Amberwood

I love cypress. Every time I go hiking somewhere with Cypress trees, I find myself snapping off a little piece and crushing it between my fingers to unlock that beautiful, piney-sappy smell. I hereby demand that Dolce and Gabbana apologize to the hundred-plus species of Cypress trees for tying them up in this atrocious concoction. This is the first fragrance in years to make me not only recoil when first putting my nose to it but to also give me a minor headache through its pathetic, embarrassing presence.

Where to begin? The ugly, sickly-sweet amberwood base? The rotten citrus note at the top? Or the cypress note placed in the middle, seemingly handpicked from the worst plant available? Summer Vibes honestly makes its original look like a masterpiece. And then it dries down to a bad-skanky blur of wood. I hate it.

I don’t know if I have a whole lot more to say besides that. I can’t wait for Dolce & Gabbana to stop making horrible remixes of a horrible fragrance. Unfortunately, they may keep these awful summer vibes going for many seasons to come.

The Fandomentals “Fragdomentals” team base our reviews off of fragrances that we have personally, independently sourced. Any reviews based off of house-provided materials will be explicitly stated. 

Have strong thoughts about this piece you need to share? Or maybe there’s something else on your mind you’re wanting to talk about with fellow Fandomentals? Head on over to our Community server to join in the conversation!

Dolce & Gabbana: Summer Vibes
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No OneFor
Cool bottles.
Bad everything else.
Don't waste your time, or worse, hurt your nose with these fragrances.
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