Sunday, November 3, 2024

The Carol Awards — GoT Season 6

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Welcome, Lords and Ladies, to the Second Annual Carol Awards!

This prestigious ceremony is to honor the joy and entertainment that Game of Thrones Season 6 brought us. Each Golden Carol is a symbol of peer recognition for pure, unabashed book snobbery, from 1884 voters.

We don’t like to think that there are “winners” and “losers” at the Carols. Just being nominated is an honor in and of itself. And the stiff competition in most categories is a testament to how nuanced adaptational butchery can be.

This year, the Carol Awards are being held to honor the life, and the works, of Good Queen Carol. Though she was tragically taken from us when the Evil Cheryl stole her skin, will we always remember her relatable desire to protect her children from clear danger, and we will never forget how wisely she ruled and took on the patriarchy. Also how she always had the orange slices prepared.

However, we most also take a moment to thank Game of Thrones showrunners David Benioff and Dan Weiss. Without them, there would be no dramatic satisfaction worth celebrating (also thank you, Bryan Cogman, for that phrase). As such, we would like to award them with an honorary Golden Carol:

May she nobly brighten up your mantelpiece.

But now, it’s time to get this ceremony started. Who are the winners of the most prestigious awards ceremony television has to offer? Joining us on stage to help answer that, we have some of The Fandomental’s finest contributors and experts on Benioff & Weiss’s Bold™ storytelling, who will serve as our presenters for the event.

First is Eurydice, whose voice you may recognize when she filled in our “Blood of my Blood” podcast episode, offering fabulous commentary on Larry’s ability to lead the Kingsguard, Arya’s spy skills, and “Benjen Coldhands.”

We’re joined also by Kate, who kept everyone in the loop all season long with her “For the (Not)Watch” recaps. We can’t tell — she keeps her cards very close to the vest — but we think she loves Benioff & Weiss’s interpretation of Sandor Clegane.

Then we’ve got Gretchen. Now you may know her as the person who lovingly dedicated her time to analyzing another show that tried to scratch at the surface of Benioff & Weiss’s greatness. What hubris…can you even imagine anything else ever coming close? However, Gretchen is no noob to Game of Thrones, having written not one, but two articles that perfectly dissect the Bold™ tone this show achieves.

And finally, please welcome Zach to the stage! He stayed up with us on Sunday nights for some tireless live-blogging sessions, and also made sure to discuss the wonderful empowerdness of the Greyjoy plotline, both with its fabulously executed kingsmoot and sensitive handling of trauma.

In addition to the presentations, Julia and Kylie will be offering their own sparkling commentary about each category winner. They’re quite happy the cream of the crop will be on display tonight, as it will surely move them to begin the process of writing the upcoming Season 6 retrospectives.

But for now, we’re going to turn the microphone over to Zach, to kick things off for us.

 

Most Emmy-Worthy Line

Category Presentation (a link to the audio introduction, available for all categories)

Nominees:

  • “Where are my niece and nephew? Let’s go murder them.” – Euron Greyjoy
  • “You really are a greedy bitch, you know that?” – Nymeria Sand
  • “Smells like pussy” – Random dude in the riverlands
  • “Happy shitting” – Tormund
  • “I choose violence.” – Carol Lannister
  • “I know you’ve had some bad years.” – Yara Greyjoy
  • “Come on. You’re the one with the magic cock.” – Bronn
  • “I think our father could learn a thing or two from your father.” – Talla Tarly to Gilly
  • “We fight with the army we have.” – Jon Snow
  • “That’s my father!” – Bran Stark, various scenes
  • “He’s my lord, my lord.” – Random Tully man-at-arms
  • “He’s really…”/“He is.” – Tommen and Margaery about the High Sparrow

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Most Meta Line

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • “I apologize for what you’re about to see” – Davos
  • “That’s what I do: I drink and I know things” – Tyrion
  • “I just want it to stop” – Loras
  • “I do what I can with what I’m given.” – Lady Crane
  • “It would all just be farting, belching, and slapping without you.” – Arya to Lady Crane
  • “That crowd was shit” – Izembaro, “The writing is no good” – Lady Crane

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

View post on imgur.com

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Most Empowered Smirk

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • When Sansa kills Ramsay by feeding him to dogs
  • When “the Waif” thinks she killed Arya after stabbing her repeatedly
  • Talla Tarly gettin’ sassy at the table
  • Arya when she sasses that ship’s captain about her bags of gold
  • Arya murdering Walder Frey
  • Cheryl when she blows up the entire government

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Most Empowering Act of Violence

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Ellaria & the Snakes murder their family
  • Dany lights an entire culture on fire
  • Sansa murders Ramsay in a dark basement
  • The Asshole murders Lady Crane
  • Arya murders the Asshole
  • Arya murders Walder Frey
  • Carol chooses violence/Cheryl burns KL down
  • Lady Crane mutilates her rival

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Most Empowering Non-Violent Moment

Nominees:

  • Margaery doodles a rose
  • Dany gives a rousing speech to the people already following her
  • Sansa tells off Littlefinger for bringing her an army
  • Olenna sasses and belittles the Sand Fakes (“Barbara” looks like a boy!)
  • The Lady Crane school of medicine (with really bad soup)
  • Theon arguing Yara’s case for her at the Salt Moot.
  • Lyanna Mormont declaring Jon King in the North.
  • Assertive Gilly sassing Randyll Tarly
  • Mama Tarly sassing Randyll Tarly and him being fine with it

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Best Sansa Personality

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Fansa (would sometimes find the strength to keep on keepin’ on, but not across rivers)
  • Brittany (boss ass bitch)
  • Sandra (boss ass bitch who stands in the background and can’t convince anyone of anything)
  • Asnas Krats (hardened woman who likens herself to Ramsay—popped back in at the end)

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Best Nod of Male Approval

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Theon to Sansa to accept Brienne’s help
  • Theon to Yara to accept Dany’s help
  • Tyrion to Dany to accept Yara’s help

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

The “D&D Are the Best Allies” Award for Most Progressive Narrative

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Ellaria doesn’t approve of Doran’s bi-erasure
  • Lesbian!Yara
  • Yara and Dany agree to team up to kill those awful menz
  • “Weak men will never rule Dorne again”
  • Sansa screaming at Littlefinger for his plan being stupid
  • The women of Horn Hill banding together to put Randyll in his place
  • Lyanna Mormont’s entire existence
  • Carol being sent to the gallery because Kevan is such an unreasonable misogynist
  • Dany burning down the Dothraki with their rape-threats
  • Grey Worm and Missandei screaming at Tyrion for his views on the slavers (only to agree with his plans)
  • The Faith Militant still being really, really, really homophobic and that’s bad

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

The “Where am I?” Award

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • “Vaes Dothrak” where menfolk decides over the Dosh Khaleen, white dudes are attacked on sight and bludgeoning to death doesn’t count as shedding blood
  • “Horn Hill” where the womenfolk can sass-talk Randyll Tarly and get away with it
  • “Dorne” where bastard-born kinslayers can take over in no time
  • “The North” where everyone seems kinda forgetful
  • “Braavos” where Faceless Men dueling in broad daylight is nothing unusual
  • “Meereen” where the Sons of the Harpy only exist when Dany is around

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Best Northern Lord Memory

Nominees:

  • Lord Cerwyn
  • Lord Umber
  • Lord Karstark
  • Lord Manderly
  • Lord Glover

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Finest Fanservice

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • “Benjen Coldhands”
  • The Hound’s triumphant return
  • Lyanna shaming the Northern Lords
  • Frey Pies
  • Euron’s introduction and becoming King of the Iron Islands with dick jokes
  • “Salt Throne”
  • Brienne and Jaime reunion at Riverrun
  • Tower of Joy Flashback coming five seasons too late
  • Dawn (…and Dusk?)
  • Olenna sassing the Sand Snakes

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Most Anachronistic Outfit

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • The Ren Fair comes to Horn Hill
  • Marg’s polygamist sex commune dress (plus crown!)
  • Cheryl’s Outfit of Supreme Evil

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Most Anachronistic Moment

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • High Sparrow’s politics, sometimes.
  • Brother Ray, neither understanding, nor caring to understand the religion he preached.
  • Gilly’s appreciation of homophones & homographs.
  • Lady Tarly’s consequence free resistance to Randyl Tarly.
  • A feudal society that no longer cares about the legitimacy of its rulers.
  • A feudal society that no longer cares about the murder of family members
  • Jon’s existential angst.
  • “I wonder what Khaleesi tastes like,” says the Khal

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Most Decorative Lampshade

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • “I should have told you about [Littlefinger], about the Knights of the Vale. I’m sorry.” -Sansa to Jon
  • “I don’t care if he’s a bastard.” -Lyanna Mormont about Jon becoming king
  • “I did not fight beside you on the field and I will regret that until my dying day” -Northern Lord to Jon
  • “Fuck kneeling and fuck oaths.”
  • “It’s time for new blood in the North” -Karstark backing Ramsay over Roose
  • “I never broke an order” -Thorne about killing Jon
  • Lyanna Mormont pointing out that Sansa is a Bolton
  • Meli-sans-bra’s morose expression as she pops out her boobs again
  • Schroedinger’s Balon pointing out he won the War of the Five Kings
  • “I don’t want to be forgiven. I can never make amends to your family for the things I’ve done.” -Theon on why he’s going to the Iron Islands

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Best off-screen fight

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • The Tully army taking Riverrun
  • The Vale army taking Moat Cailin
  • Brynden Tully’s heroic last stand
  • The Asshole’s death

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Most Creative Use of Teleportation

Nominees:

  • The Vale Army
  • The Night’s King
  • The Sand Fakes onto the boat
  • Brienne going around the Twins
  • Arya to the Riverlands
  • The Ironborn’s 100 ships to Volantis and Meereen
  • Theon from Winterfell to the Iron Islands
  • Varys from Meereen to Dorne, and Back Again
  • Littlefinger from the Vale to Mole’s Town
  • Sansa, Cardboard, and Davos’s Northern Walking Tour

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Most Creative Use of Telepathy

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Olenna knows her family is dead in KL when she shows up in Dorne
  • Littlefinger knowing Sansa would be at Castle Black (and alive for that matter)
  • Davos intuiting that Mel could raise the dead.
  • Davos knowing who the Night’s King is
  • Brienne knowing not to mention Sandor by name to Sansa.
  • Brienne knowing that Sansa escaped Winterfell
  • Smalljon and Ramsay anticipating that Jon might lead an army of Wildlings to attack Winterfell and writing the pink letter to make sure he really does
  • Marg’s spidey-sense in that the Sept is going to blow up

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Best “I have amnesia” Moment

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Davos never asking Mel about Shireen and Stannis.
  • Roose forgetting everything he knows about Ramsay.
  • Faullaria and the Sand Fakes forgetting who they’re meant to be getting revenge on.
  • Brienne strutting around with Oathkeeper.
  • Cheryl totally forgetting to deal with Ellaria
  • Dany forgetting that Varys wanted to poison her in the past
  • Everyone forgetting about Rickon the episode after he was killed

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Most EvHUL Ramsay Moment

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Ramsay feeds his girlfriend’s corpse to dogs
  • Ramsay kills his dad
  • Ramsay kills his step-mom and lil’ bro
  • Ramsay writes Jon a rude letter
  • Ramsay makes rape jokes with Lord Karstark when Lord Umber mentions a gift
  • Ramsay shanks Osha
  • Ramsay makes rape jokes at the parlay and calls Jon a “bastard” a lot
  • Ramsay turns Rickon into a pin cushion
  • Ramsay kills Wun Wun
  • Ramsay says unkind things to Sansa while she kills him

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Best Larrol Moment

Nominees:

  • When Larry tells Carol to “fuck prophecies and fate” because they’re the only two people who matter
  • When Larry defends Carol to the High Sparrow without knowing her crimes
  • When Larrol crash the Small Council and everyone leaves
  • When Larrol crash the Small Council again and jointly persuade the Tyrells to go to war
  • When Carol comforts Larry about getting sent off to Riverrun and they have sloppy kisses
  • When Larry tells Edmure he will murder his baby…out of his love for Carol

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Most Relatable Carol Moment

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Carol isn’t allowed to go to her daughter’s funeral 🙁
  • Carol isn’t allowed to participate at the small council 🙁
  • Olenna calls Carol the most vile person she’s ever met 🙁
  • Carol’s long-term boyfriend gets sent away 🙁
  • Carol gets sent to the gallery by Kevan because she’s a woman 🙁
  • Carol’s threatened to be dragged out of her house by bullies 🙁

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Most Moving High Sparrow Speech

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • The one where he fishes for *something* for Marg to confess
  • The one where tells Larry about the eyeball stones
  • The ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ monologue for Tommen
  • “I had fun once – it was terrible”
  • The one where he teases a walk of shame for Marg that he knew wasn’t going to happen

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Most Deadpanny Dany Moment

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • When she rattles off her titles to the Dothraki
  • When she burns the Khals
  • When she returns to find Meereen under siege
  • When she engages in aggressive negotiations with the slavers
  • When she dumps Daario

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

The Saint Tyrion Ultimate Fan Award

Nominees:

  • Varys
  • Kinvera the Red Priestess
  • Missandei
  • Dany
  • Viserion & Rhaegal

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Tyrion’s Most Saintly Act

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Brokering peace with unfeasible demands and sex workers
  • Giving to the poor
  • Being the “Abraham Lincoln” of his time
  • Teaching MissWorm how to drink and make merry
  • Taming the dragons
  • Teaching Deadpan about the intersection between the personal and the political
  • Convincing the red priestess to get all the priests to preach about Dany when they already were

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Best Tyrion/Grey Worm/Missandei conversation

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • When Tyrion teaches them about dragons
  • When Tyrion teaches them about drinking games
  • When Tyrion teaches them about slavery
  • When Tyrion teaches them joke-telling

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

The Horrific Implications Award

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Tyrion’s comedic alcoholism
  • Theon’s PTSD getting screamed away by Yara
  • Sansa’s PTSD getting aced by murdering Ramsay
  • Larry not being too fussed about his golden hand
  • Yara being a rapist for purchasing a sex slave
  • Tommen’s suicide being the result of his statutory rape by Marg and not being able to handle his abuser’s death
  • Male sexual assault is comedic (fingers up the ass scene)
  • “Weak men will never rule Dorne again” perpetuation of toxic masculinity

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

The “Backtrack Award” for Most Creative Retcon

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Davos not caring too much about Stannis because he’s a Jon-stan
  • Hizdahr’s deals with Yunkai and Astapor vanishing
  • Daario’s magically acquired fleet of ships burning
  • Blackfish taking over Riverrun
  • Kingsmoots always being “the law” despite Theon being referred to as “heir” before
  • Dany and Hizdahr were married

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Most Praise-worthy Kinslaying

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Faullaria killing Doran
  • Obara killing Trystane
  • Euron killing Balon
  • Ramsay killing Roose
  • Ramsay killing Walda and his lil’ bro
  • Cheryl killing Kevan
  • Middlejon Umber wanting to have killed his father himself because why the hell not
  • Larry boasting with Kinslaying to the High Septon’s face

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Best personality flip

Nominees:

  • Sansa going from petrified to boss-ass after putting on lipgloss
  • Theon heading back ‘home’ to the Iron Islands after his Stark-centric redemption arc
  • Arya going from sleeping with Needle drawn to smirking her way around Braavos
  • Carol becoming Cheryl and burning the mothafucka to the ground
  • Davos being Mel’s cheerleader and then remembering to ask about Shireen

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

The Serendipity Award

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Rhaegal and Viseron breaking out just as Drogon flies overhead
  • Ramsay changing his mind and staying put all season.
  • The Synchronized Murder™ of the Martell men
  • Nobody noticing Jon’s corpse in the middle of the yard when Thorne called for his midnight
  • assembly
  • Bran waiting to go back to the ToJ until the final episode so we can reveal the SHOCKING MYSTERY OF JON’S TRUE PARENTAGE (or at least the fact his mother is Lyanna) in the last episode
  • Drogon lurking around the corner of the cliffs so Dany could give a speech to close the episode

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

The “Well That Earned My Loyalty” Award

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Qyburn giving Varys’s little birds candy
  • The High Sparrow talking about mothers to Tommen
  • Dany burning down the Dothraki leaders & holy place
  • Euron talking about his dick and admitting to killing Balon
  • Lord Umber siding with Ramsay for murdering Roose
  • Jon marching into a trap to become King in the North
  • Cheryl burning down the entire government

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

The “What Was the Point of That?” Award

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Brienne’s mission to Riverrun
  • Larry’s mission to Riverrun
  • Septon Ray’s peaceful utopia mini-episode
  • Arya being blind
  • Jon being dead
  • Mel revealed as old
  • Benjen showing up

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

The “They Earned Their Paycheck” Award

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Natalia Tena (Osha)
  • Max von Sydow (The Three Eyed Raven)
  • Ian McShane (Septon Ray)
  • Art Parkinson (Rickon Stark)
  • Alexander Siddig (Prince Doran)
  • Clive Russell (Blackfish)
  • Indira Varma (Ellaria Sand)
  • Pilou Asbæk (Euron Greyjoy)
  • Tom Wlaschiha (Jaqen H’ghar)
  • James Faulkner (Randyll Tarly)
  • Isaac Hempstead Wright (Bran Stark)
  • Toby Sebastian (Trystane Martell)

(note 7/20, 9:00pm: it was brought to our attention a slightly different list was used for Kate to read than the nominees that appeared on the ballot. The list above represents the latter.)

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Best Use of a Minor Character

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Brynden Blackfish Tully getting killed offscreen.
  • The off-screen Passion of the Loras.
  • Rickon the Mute.
  • Ghost, as visible as his name.
  • Osha, Ramsay-sue offering/sacrifice #26703
  • Summer does not appear except for being thrown into wights
  • Ramsay mourning his Harley Quinn
  • Podrick being an awesome killer who can correct Sansa Stark on courtesy
  • The Waif being Arya’s antagonist
  • Jorah being sent off to find a cure for greyscale

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Best Use of a Major Character

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Wyman Manderly popping in for one scene
  • Bran the Exposition Machine
  • Sam stealing a sword and visiting a library over the course of a season
  • Doran reading a letter and getting stabbed

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Best Prop

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Shireen’s inflammable wooden stag
  • Shaggy Dog’s tiny, but very well preserved, head
  • Ramsay’s very poorly peeled apple
  • Melisandre’s Magic Necklace
  • Cheryl’s shoulder pads
  • “Dawn” with the sun emoji on its pommel
  • Frey pies with fingers sticking out

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Best Book Detail Misappropriation

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • “Vengeance. Justice. Fire and blood.”
  • Frey Pies
  • Tower of Joy
  • Episode 10 being titled “The Winds of Winter” (without even having The Wall or the White Walkers appear)
  • Arya using “Mercy” as her name
  • The Pink Letter

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Best Character Misappropriation

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Jonny playing Arthur Dayne (the legendary swordsman)
  • Young Ned playing Jaime Lannister
  • Sansa playing Theon and Jonny Playing Stannis to re-enact Theon I (TWOW)
  • Tyrion playing Dany
  • Tyrion playing Quentyn
  • Tyrion playing Barristan Selmy
  • Sansa playing Ramsay
  • Larry playing season 1 episode 1 Jaime.
  • Qyburn playing Varys.
  • Davos playing Melisandre.
  • Yara’s sex slave playing Qarl the Maid.
  • Yara playing Victarion

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Identity Theft Award

Nominees:

  • “The Waif”
  • “Ellaria Sand”
  • “Jaime Lannister”
  • “Sansa Stark”
  • “Yara [Asha] Greyjoy”
  • “Arya Stark”
  • “Tyrion”
  • “Brienne”

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Best Scene Featuring an Original Character

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Septon Ray and the Shire
  • The “Fingers up the ass” scene
  • Lady Crane’s revengeful monologue
  • Olly’s swinging corpse
  • Random cock guy from last season getting GPS tracked by FrankenGregor
  • “Khal, what is best in life” / Dothraki inquisition skit

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Most Sensitive Child-Death

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Olly
  • Rickon
  • Tommen
  • Baby Bolton

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Most Stylish Plot Armor

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Jon in “Battle of the Bastards”
  • Brienne popping into an active siege and leaving without being spotted.
  • Arya’s gutsy parkour.
  • Dany’s asbestos skin.
  • Sansa riding off alone through the North to meet the Vale troops.
  • Saint Tyrion releasing the dragons.
  • Penniless Theon getting from the middle of hostile territory all the way back to the Iron Islands alone.
  • Dothraki suddenly needing the permission of their Khal to rape a captured Dany
  • The Khal totally buying that Dany is a Khaleesi despite having no proof whatsoever

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Most Justified Plot Kryptonite

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Hotah dropping like a sack of potatoes to a single stab wound.
  • Lancel incapacitated by a small child.
  • The Khals inability to think or act as soon as a fire starts.
  • Summer committing suicide by jumping at the wights instead of going with Bran to defend him.
  • The Sons of the Harpy suddenly being an army that can be defeated

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

The “Devil is in the Details” Award

Nominees:

  • The Sword of the Morning’s TWO swords
  • “Wyllis” as Hodor’s real name
  • No winter roses for Lyanna
  • The indefensible Moat Cailin
  • Jon’s selective memory for traitors.
  • Jon executing the traitors as Lord Commander before deciding that death ended his Watch
  • Wildlings and Vale Lords shouting “The King in the North!”
  • Stannis’s former camp being a short walk away from Winterhell
  • The flexible sword of Jon
  • Everyone knows that that tall Kingsguard is a zombie Gregor Clegane, and no one cares

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Best Use of Resources

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Horn Hill
  • Riverrun
  • Volantis (or wherever Theon and Yara were between Iron Islands and Meereen)
  • Oldtown
  • Dany giving the completely useless speech from Drogon’s back
  • Spider Wights

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Biggest Shock™

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Mel’s tits are OLD
  • Rickon’s death
  • Tyrion’s plans DIDN’T WORK
  • Fireproof Deadpan 2.0
  • Jon is the baby! THE BABY IS JON!
  • The Children of the Forest created the White Walkers
  • OH MY GOD IT’S BENJEN
  • Jon lives again!
  • HOLD THE DOOR!!!
  • “OMG, did Arya just get stabbed to death ?” said everyone for 1.7 seconds

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Most Compelling Ship

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Dany/Yara
  • Yara/The Sex Slave with a great ass
  • Tormund/Brienne
  • Larrol
  • Sansa/Jon
  • Sansa/Littlefinger
  • MissWorm
  • Dany/Jorah
  • Dany/Daario
  • Sam/Gilly
  • Marg/TomTom
  • Larry/Bronn

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Best Fandom Name Award

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Field Marshal Sandra Snark
  • Cheryl Lannister
  • A Thousand Eyes and Two
  • Discount Russell Crowe (Euron)
  • Babs (Boss.Ass.Bitch)
  • Brittany Stark
  • Benjen Ex Machina
  • Tryskebab
  • Wildling Louie C.K. (Tormund)

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

The “Creatively it Made Sense Because We Wanted it to Happen” Award

Nominees:

  • Sansa withholding information about the Vale Troops
  • Jaime and the Tyrells mounting a war without securing the king
  • Jon’s “we fight with the army we have” timeline
  • Cersei being coronated for murdering everyone of importance
  • The Pornish Guards backing a coup and a Sand ruling Porne
  • Jon being made King in the North while Robb’s heir is sitting right there
  • Ramsay murdering Roose, Walda, and their baby with the approval of all of Roose’s Lords
  • Dany burning a temple in front of the Dothrakis to win their support.
  • Davos totally being a follower of Jon because the script said so

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]

 

Editor’s Choice Award for Most Egregious Oversight

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Cheryl torturing Spoonella and handing her over to Gregor in “most empowered act of violence.”
  • The entire category: “Biggest Middle Finger to Martin”
  • Benjen Stark in the “They Earned their Paycheck”
  • Ellaria playing Doran/Olenna playing Arianne in “Best character misappropriation”
  • “I wonder what Khaleesi tastes like” says the Khal” should be in Most Emmy Worthy Line
  • Best Cosplay category: Cheryl cosplaying Tywin, The other Red Priestess cosplaying Melisandre, Larry cosplaying Tywin too, Lyanna Mormont cosplaying a Night’s watch member (is black is the only color they wear in the North?)
  • The Broken Man speech in “Best Book Detail Misappropriation”
  • “You’re not going to serve, you’re going to die.” in “Most Emmy Worthy Line”
  • Yara’s “Buck up, Theon” speech be in the “D&D Best Allies” category
  • High Sparrow telling Marg to lie back and think of Weissreroff in “Best High Sparrow Speech”

And the Golden Carol goes to…

[reveal heading=”%image% Click for the winner”]

Category commentary

[/reveal]


Well that does it, folks. No more Golden Carols to hand out.

Thank you all for a truly fantastic event! It will no doubt be a night long remembered in the annals of fandom. There were upsets, there were moments of triumph. But above all, it was about that spirit of Book Snobbery that we all share. The true meaning of the Carol Awards: deep, and thematically significant, Dramatic Satisfaction.

And remember, though not everyone took home a Golden Carol (Marg got robbed, in the opinion of these editors), we truly all are the winners. Because Game of Thrones is the best show on TV.

For full, interactive results, click here. We’ll see you next year!


Images courtesy of HBO

[starbox id=”Julia,Kylie”]

Author

  • Julia

    Julia is a Managing Editor at The Fandomentals with far too many hobbies and complex emotions. She may or may not be an actual Martell.

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