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Game of Thrones gets a Season 7 Date & Teaser

Kylie

Kylie

Kylie is a Managing Editor at The Fandomentals on a mission to slay all the tropes. She has a penchant for complex familial dynamics and is easily pleased when authors include in-depth business details.
Kylie

That’s right! Like that rash, the world’s most dramatically satisfying entertainment is coming back, and we welcome it with the same enthusiasm.

The teaser poster dropped yesterday. You can see it in full here, and also entertain yourself with hundreds of pieces dedicated to writers trying to find new ways of saying “there’s ice and there’s fire in it.”

*Han Solo voice* Well, I’m glad you’re here to tell us these things!

There is a bit of meat on the bone, and it comes in the form of the first teaser trailer, which was released about an hour ago. In it, we see the very nicely rendered House sigils spinning around and crumbling, while we hear old dialogue from past seasons. Looks like Deadpan was serious about “breaking the wheel.” And I’m crying happy tears that Cheryl’s big boom was shown engulfing the Tyrell rose. It ends with Jon Snow saying, “There’s only one war that matters, the great war—and it is here.” Despite having just watched every single Jon Snow scene from Season 6 over the past weekend to prepare for that particular retrospective, I truly can’t remember if this is new dialogue or not. I will say the sigils crumbling into that spiraly shape was a good idea, though 10 points from Gryffindor for that eyeball.

You can watch the teaser below, but the most important takeaway is at the very very end: Game of Thrones returns to us July 16th. 128 days from now, which is just enough time to…rewatch all of Avatar the Last Airbender and Legend of Korra and enjoy actual quality TV entertainment.

 


Images courtesy of HBO
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  • Bo

    “Hints at ice and fire connection.” Because apparently they need a poster to do what the show stopped doing in season 4.

    • Katie

      That one made me laugh too

    • I also love that it’s “hints” when it’s literally ice and fire on a poster together.

  • Gazyrlezon

    I just love that they’re using the same “they’re all just spikes on a wheel” line they had in a trailer for … was it season 5 or 6? And half the lines were spoken so long ago that their impact on any plot has blown over long ago. I mean, there’s a line by Robert Baratheon, for God’s sake!

    (I think I remember the “only war that matters” thing, though. Given that I haven’t watched past season four, this doesn’t augur well …)

    • Jon has said similar things before, but I think is wording was a little different in Season 6. Which goes to show how fresh this is.

      The “spikes on a wheel” was what Deadpan said to Tyrion in “Hardhome,” Season 5. As they both loafed in chairs with a glazed look in their eyes. I’m not even exaggerating.

  • Katie

    In another parallel universe where this show had quality and substance, I could have called this teaser visually interesting. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

    • I think the crumbling of the sigils was cool. Someone should get an A on their media class project, even if the wildfire is never not going to make me laugh.

      • Katie

        Totally. It gave me a weird moment where sadness cut through the snark and I just thought about how excited I’d probably be about this, had things gone a bit differently?

        But yeah – then there was the wildfire, and the eye (and, umm, nearly all the dialogue?) and we were back to reality.

  • Hyrkoon

    Why did I just watch a minute of a half of Deadpan and Cheryl quotes… also why is a bear (for House Mormont?) included with the nine Great Houses and why do we hear Catelyn’s voice… did the Tully sigil get a redesign or something?
    Damn, I was hoping we could at least find something to make fun about like the Carol Brady hairdo in season 6…. Ah well, let’s just hope we get a proper trailer soon where we can make fun of the next “I CHOOSE VIOLENCE.”

    • Well everyone from Bear Island fights with the strength of 10 men, so they’ve been promoted. (That reminds me, in the “Battle of the Bastards” script, it said that it’s all Mormont men who storm into the Winterhell courtyard with Jonny. I think they had a high survival rate?)

      Proper trailer should have much better fodder, though so sad we’ll have to wait a couple more months on it.

      • Hyrkoon

        Well of course, Lyanna is Jon’s VP nom after all (I wonder who won the Westerosi election, btw?) and ofc they’ve replaced the Tullys as the Starks’ #1 ally after Brienne’s Failed Mission Of Extreme Logic

      • Cynical Classicist

        Plot armour? It just lies around the North.

    • Matthew

      Michelle Fairley’s high pitched death scream has become so iconic and reminiscent of when the show used to be relatively good. Oh, I miss her.

  • Will113

    Ah the hype begins. Soon the promo photo’s will come, followed by the real trailer.

    • I just can’t believe so many people were forced to write up an article on a poster that had fire and ice.

    • Matthew

      I wonder how EW’s sure-as-the-sun-will-rise special GoT cover/photoshoot is going to top last year’s Dame of Thrones/Women on Top.

  • Fish

    Different sigils crop up as someone from the house who’s sigil is prominent gets a line while that sigil is prominent except, oh wait, thats a dire wolf and the line is literally Joffrey saying “bring me his head”. Oh well I guess it was important to have input from Cheryl and her dead psychopathic child and no one from House Stark.

    • Well it’s not like they’re the protagonists or anything

      • Fish

        Wait that’s sarcasm right? Or I guess in this series at least Sansa, Arya and Bran are no longer protagonists I guess

  • Cynical Classicist

    Of course no voice from Stannis, just like the promos for last season didn’t show Stannis among the other faces, because apparently Stannis doesn’t really matter. Yep, always going to be bitter as a Bracken Bastard’s steel over what they did to Stannis. And no Suns, no Griffins, no creepy crows… Well, at least this year we are seeing more of Euron in power… and not on TV. And of course, no trouts as the Riverlands doesn’t really exist.

    • They voted to become da bears.

      • Cynical Classicist

        All black and brown and covered in hair. Well, apparently we’re getting Nice Guy Jorah in Oldtown instead of the magical plot with Euron. U can imagine how Poor Quentyn feels about that.

        • Lil’ Euron the Pooh is sure to be scary when he ropes up the Sand Fakes!

    • Fish

      Don’t get me started. Stannis was my favourite character in the books but damn did they butcher him.

  • Matthew

    I don’t know if it’s how tired I am from my workload this week for my university or just how tired I am of this show coming every year, making every fanboy go “YEAAHHH YOU GO TYRION WE LOVE YOU TAKE MY KEYS AND FUCK MY WIFE”, swiping a few awards here and there with their amazing writing ™, and then taking virtually no responsibility for how harmful it is.

    That’s it. I’m just exhausted. I will watch it, but the Salt Throne takes its toll on one’s soul.

    Also, that being said, that promo looked nice, but the visual department is one of the few redeeming qualities of GoT.

    • Ivana Cvetanovic

      The teaser is visually interesting, but the poster really isn’t their best work. And not just because it’s on the nose. Visually, it sucks. That’s not how you visually represent duality. How hard can it be to make a strong blue/orange – white/red contrast? I could do a better one in Photoshop with my limited skills. The ice is dominant on the poster and it looks fine, but the fire should be in strong, bright red/orange/yellow, not that pale crap. It’s almost as bad as the terrible season 3 DVD cover with a pale, barely visible dragon in a white/grey picture.

  • Suou no Nioi

    This is the second time now that they’ve used that spiral imagery and I still don’t know what it means.

    Of course, explaining that in amy way when it first came up might have required better focus and more Bran screen time, and neither of those was an acceptable solution, clearly.

    • From what I can tell, spirals are just how their White Walkers like to decorate? It’s their aesthetic and junk.

      • Suou no Nioi

        Yeah, that’s about as much as I got out of it, too. It’s clear the show wants the spirals to be connected to the WW in some way, but it has no meaning. It just looks cool in a trailer.

  • Wale Shalala

    Welp that teaser made me feel absolutely nothing! Im just gonna look forward to the fun recaps by you guys 🙂

  • WanderingUndine

    I won’t live somewhere with TV this time, so I’ll have to wait a year for the DVD release before I can read your commentary. *sigh*

    • Ivana Cvetanovic

      But you can read the commentary before watching the show… Or read the salty commentary without watching the show. That’s actually the best way to follow GoT, in my experience since episode 5.3.

      • Mytly

        I’m seriously considering this option. I don’t know if I can take watching the show any more, but I definitely don’t want to be left out of the salty discussions.

  • Anne Hines

    At least they had the decency to not release it on Women’s Appreciation Day this year.

  • Maidens&Mules

    Nice visuals. I’m surprised that they included Robert Baratheon’s voice but not St. Tyrion’s. Except for Jon Snow (who’s only half Stark) have they just dropped the Starks completely? Everything we’ve seen so far is playing up Cheryl vs. Deadpan. Of course given that show!Sansa, Arya, and Bran have been stripped of anything that made their characters unique and interesting, maybe it’s for the best.

  • James Blacker

    I’m not gonna lie-I’m more excited for the Fandomentals reviews of the new season than the actual content itself.

    • Elsa

      Same here. I’m not sure if I’m actually gonna watch Season7, but I’m definetely gonna read the Fandomentals reviews.

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