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David Cage and Questionable Sexual Encounters




Warning, this article includes frank discussion of non-consensual sex. Also there are spoilers for the entire gaming library of David Cage, though honestly, being spoiled now is better than having to play the things.
It should also be noted that this is an opinion piece based on the subjective views of the author.

The obvious implication of any piece of work not based in a scientific realm is that it is the product of the writer’s own opinions and interpretations. Only someone criticizing in serious bad faith would ever jump to the conclusion that any given writer believes their opinions are unimpeachable facts. In almost all cases, it is unnecessary to point this out.

This is one of the exceptions to this rule. Usually when pointing out problems within video game narratives, the blame is laid at the hands of the developing company at large, as individual responsibility is very difficult to divine. In the case of David Cage games, however, the director’s self-proclaimed auteurship means it is only he who the finger can be pointed at.

In which case it is necessary to point out that the following arguments are entirely my own opinion, that I have never met David Cage, that it is entirely possible that I am wrong and that arguments to the contrary are welcome. This should in no way be read as anything other than a personal interpretation based on a familiarity with Omikron, Fahrenheit, Heavy Rain and Beyond: Two Souls.

With all that said, David Cage games consistently feature weird and terrible sex scenes.

Mr. David Cage

For those unaware of who David Cage is, here is a brief history lesson. Cage is a French game developer who founded the company Quantic Dream, currently employed to make exclusive titles for Sony. He has directed four games in an almost twenty year career, with the fifth due to be released in the near future.

Cage is a champion of the gaming auteur, namely the concept that games should be made by a singular vision rather than by committee, as having a singular director will lead to stronger artistic works. It is an admirable development philosophy, and Cage is one of the few directors in gaming with enough clout behind him to make the games he wants to make.

Aside from his first game, his works have trended towards creating ‘cinematic’ experiences. Complicated gaming mechanics are shunned in place of simple button prompts, with the focus on emulating motion pictures as much as possible. Running away from the conventions of the medium seems a rather wrong-headed approach, but given that the phenomenal Until Dawn follows a similar template to Cage games, it is not an approach without some merit.

The real problem, in my view, lies in the fact that Cage seriously struggles to write coherent stories. He comes up with good ideas, and most of his games start with promise, but they invariably collapse due to his seeming inability to gel ideas together and maintain even vaguely coherent character motivations. For reference, follow this link to read about the insane plot holes in Heavy Rain, easily the best game Cage has made thus far.

Given that three out of his four games are pretty appalling (and Heavy Rain is a mixture of good and bad so potent it is rendered entirely mediocre), his continued success is quite baffling, but that is neither here nor there for this discussion. The point here is to talk about the sex in Cage’s games, because here lies one of the more unexplored aspects of Cage’s writing failures.

By the way, the header image of this article is of David Cage appearing in one of his own games. Just in case you needed more evidence that this man makes poor design decisions.

The Villainous Soul

Omikron: The Nomad Soul (Cage loves colons in his titles) was the first game produced by Quantic Dream. Released in 1999, it bears the odd distinction of both featuring David Bowie and being one of the worst designed games in history.

Upon beginning the game, the player is greeted by Kay’l, a detective who implores the player to take over his body to help solve a murder (and eventually save the world). Two things are important to note about this set-up.

  1. You literally play as a soul that hops from body to body as it attempts to achieve its goals.
  2. When you occupy a body, the owner is not killed. They are entirely conscious of everything you are doing with their body, but are entirely powerless to stop you from doing whatever you want.

Among the very first things it is possible to do in this game is to go to Kay’l’s apartment, talk to his wife, and subsequently sleep with her. While this is an optional part of the game, given that it is triggered by simply talking to Telis while she is lying on a bed, most gamers are likely to wind up doing this.

The problem lies in the fact that Telis is not consenting to have sex with you, the player, she is consenting to have sex with her husband Kay’l. She is unaware that her husband’s body has been taken over by a rogue soul (and she will not believe you if you tell her, because why would she, that is insane). You are hijacking her husband’s body to sleep with a woman who is denied all opportunity to consent, and would almost certainly not consent if she was fully aware of the situation.

This is non-consensual sex, in the same way that pretending to be someone’s husband at a masquerade ball is non-consensual. In fact, it is actually worse than that, as Kay’l himself is a witness to this heinous crime and is powerless to prevent it. This is horrifying in all respects, especially given that these are the actions of the game’s hero.

And the Nomad Soul will always be categorized as a hero, despite the many heinous acts they commit. At one point you will force one of the bodies you pilot to kill itself in order to trick another person to surrender their body to you. All this occurs so that you can move a rock out of the way of a door, which you really could have just asked the other person to do in the first place.

It is possible (and indeed preferable, because the alternative is way worse) that Cage simply did not recognize how horrifying he was making his main character’s actions. Mind-invasion, however, is just the beginning of Cage’s game’s bizarre attitudes towards sex. These games have been plagued by some very creepy things for years.

Not the most dignified moment of David Bowie’s career.

To Love a Living Corpse

Side note: A quick Google search revealed that is apparently legal to marry a dead person in France. This was not the answer I was expecting to find when I searched “Is Necrophilia illegal in France” in order to set-up a snarky joke which would now fall very flat.

Fahrenheit/Indigo Prophecy (it was called one or the other depending on localization) was the second Cage game. Protagonist Lucas Kane commits a murder while possessed by a supernatural force. He attempts to evade the capture of detective Carla Valenti while an apocalypse looms involving Mayan prophecies, Artificial Intelligences, mute children of destiny, a secret organization of homeless people, military conspiracies, and flying Kung-Fu battles. There is also a scene where Lucas is attacked by his furniture. This is Exhibit A of Cage failing to mesh ideas together, but I digress.

Lucas dies in the closing hours of the game, only to be mysteriously walking around again two scenes later. He convinces Carla that he is innocent due to mind-invasion (Cage circa 2005 realizing that mind invasion is a bad thing). They subsequently fall in love, off-screen, despite Carla spending 90% of the game convinced that Lucas is a crazed murderer. They consummate their love in an abandoned train car.

Remember a moment ago when you learned that Lucas died? Yes, Lucas literally died, and was re-animated due to some supernatural shenanigans. The game goes to great lengths to spell out the fact that Lucas is absolutely still dead. A character actually says:

“You didn’t survive that fall. We found your body and we resuscitated you. The truth is that you are dead Lucas.”

They then go on to say;

“It is impossible to kill you Lucas, as you are already dead.”

Lucas is a corpse. He and Carla sleep together at least several days after his death. Yes, he still thinks and moves around, but a magical A.I. states several times that he is dead, so he must be viewed as such. There are two possibilities as to why this occurs in a story written by a human being that undoubtedly wanted his story taken seriously.

  • He wrote himself into a corner regarding Lucas’ death, and decided to proceed with his already planned love story regardless.
  • This was an elaborate attempt to include necrophilia into a story in way Cage viewed as palatable.

Honestly neither would be surprising to me. Whatever the reason, the fact remains that Cage’s first two game feature their ‘heroes’ engaging in non-consensual sex and necrophilia. Yet both games were somehow critically lauded upon release and Cage was granted bigger budgets to keep making games.

Yep, this is a person that is definitely dead.

Heavy Pain

Heavy Rain, though frequently cheesy, poorly paced and ultimately insubstantial, is easily the best game Cage has ever made. Indeed it was his first game to not involve his heroes committing illegal and immoral sexual acts. The incredibly low-threshold of both parties being both consenting and alive is at last reached at the third time of asking.

That is not to say there is nothing wrong with the sex scenes found in Heavy Rain. Aside from being aesthetically horrifying, the two most prominent sexual encounters in the game are unsettling due to the wider context of the plot.

The fact that Ethan Mars could possibly decide to engage in some tomfoolery during an intense few days in which his son has been kidnapped by a notorious serial killer—who Ethan knows has put his son in a pit that is slowly filling with rain water and is currently forcing Ethan to under-go Saw style torture games to prove his love for his son—is absolutely insane. Ethan has just hours to save his son. He would realistically never waste time sleeping with a women he barely knows, and yet Cage made sure to include this as an option.

It is also possible for Scott Shelby, a private-eye investigating the serial killer, and Lauren Winter, the mother of one of the serial killer’s victims, to end up in bed together. This is the first such encounter in a Cage game that actually makes plot sense, as their mutual trust and affection is well-established throughout the game. It is honestly nice to see two sympathetic characters find some happiness with each other.

Or rather it would be, if Scott Shelby was not dramatically revealed to be the serial killer all along in a twist that is famous for undermining an otherwise passable plot. Which means Lauren unknowingly slept with the man that murdered her son. DAMMIT ALL DAVID CAGE WHY DO YOU KEEP PUTTING THIS STUFF IN YOUR GAMES.

Earlier when I stated that the sex scenes were at least not illegal and immoral in this one, I meant to say that they were not both. Deciding to sleep with a woman whose child you murdered is pretty much the safest thing one could ever refer to as being immoral.

Just your friendly neighborhood serial murderer.

Now, on to the big question.



This is the only reason that makes sense for any of the sex scenes in David Cage’s games to exist. He can argue all he wants that he includes them to further the emotional development of the story, but it is hard to get away from the implication that this is all for titillation’s sake.

Did you know that Carla Valenti once appeared naked in Playboy in an image produced by Quantic Dream? Or that Cage’s three most recent games all feature shower scenes that serve no purpose other than letting the player gawk at the female character models? Or that a nude model of Ellen Page was created for Beyond: Two Souls, despite Ellen Page having a no nudity clause in her contract? And that said model was quickly leaked onto the internet (as it was never actually taken out of the game and some very minimal hacking could reveal it)?

These actions combined provide pretty damning evidence that titillation is the main aim in all cases. Which is not necessarily a bad thing in all circumstances, but certainly is when the supposedly titillating scenes involve mind-invasion, corpses and the looming spectre of child murder. When the intent and the result are combined, imagining the process in which one led to the other is a very scary prospect.

(And as a quick side-note, David Cage collected a folder of pictures of Ellen Page ranging from when she was eight years old to her as an adult. He did this before he had ever met her, before she had any idea he wanted her to star in Beyond: Two Souls, and he is proud to tell the world that this is a thing he did. In the context of the rest of this article, this is rather concerning).

Final Disclaimers

Each and every one of my conclusions are entirely based on my own opinions. Each and every one might be entirely incorrect. There may be a perfectly reasonable explanation for all of this. No one is suggesting that Cage himself has ever done anything illegal or immoral.

The only thing being suggested is that David Cage’s games frequently feature sex scenes with hideous implications. By all means argue against this conclusion in the comments. If there is a defense of this stuff, I would gladly hear it. This is one of those times where being wrong would actually be a weight of my mind.

Either way, though, David Cage is bad at making games. That much cannot be argued.

All images courtesy of Quantic Dream



Wolfenstein: The New Colossus Excels Because It Knows Its History





wolfenstein 2 featured

Wolfenstein: The New Colossus is a phenomenal game. It has an inordinate amount to say about racism, anti semitism, the cycle of abuse, ableism, eugenics, homophobia, fat shaming, PTSD, war, violence, and just about everything else under the sun. And developer MachineGames does all of that with this wonderfully strange combination of hyper-meticulous tact, high production values, and auteur confidence. Of course, none of that would have been possible if the setting surrounding the narrative didn’t work, and holy shit does it ever.

The newest iterations of the Wolfenstein franchise take place in an alternate 1960—leading into ‘61 for the second game—where the Nazis won the war. 2014’s Wolfenstein: The New Order was a game framed around the “how” of the world. How did the Nazis win? How do they keep their conquered states in check? How have things changed in this reality? How do we stop them from gaining more power? How do we fight back against a near global, yet also interplanetary, regime?

Throughout the game, you come across newspaper clippings and records (The Beatles sort of still exist) that fill the gaps between 1946 and 1960. The result is a fully realized world that isn’t just a horrifying coat of paint over reality; it’s how things would have happened…with a few super-science-y liberties thrown in because why wouldn’t the Nazis a moon base or fire breathing robot dogs? And, of course, the greatest twist of all: the Nazis’ inexplicable sci-fi advancement, the whole reason they won the war, was built on the backs of stolen technology from a secret society of Jewish science wizards. There’s even a sequence where the protagonist, William Joseph “B.J.” Blazkowicz, breaks into a high security compound and finds ancient schematics written in Hebrew, which he knows how to read.

We also knew, in broad strokes, what had happened to the other parts of the world. America had surrendered completely after Manhattan was obliterated by an atomic bomb, mirroring the destruction of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The Nazis had yet to conquer the vast majority of Africa, as organized resistance was proving far more effective than they were willing to recognize. London was kept in line by a skyscraper-sized robot called the London Monitor, which you get to blow up.

Wolfenstein: The New Order took place almost entirely in western Europe (with a brief sojourn to the moon, of course) and exploring how the one region of the world that was, at one time, actually conquered by the Nazis, ended up being just familiar enough to what it was back then to what it became in their alternate history. It’s this foundation, this deep uprooting and deconstruction of history, that allows its sequel, The New Colossus, to head straight into the United States. We were shown what was comfortably familiar to us, so it was time to show what was uncomfortably familiar.

An America subjugated and ruled by the Nazis.

Enemy Of The State Of Affairs

Wolfenstein: The New Colossus is a game about “why”. Why do we fight against oppression when society around us punishes those who do? Why do we push back against systemic hatred, even when it has no bearing on us? Why does a man like William Joseph “B.J.” Blazkowicz, the perfect aesthetic poster boy for Aryan supremacy, reject those who would treat him like a king?

Why has America submitted to Nazi rule? The short answer is: giant airship. The long answer? Well, that one’s not so complicated.

Relatively early in the game, you meet up with a New York City resistance cell lead by a black woman named Grace, a survivor of the Manhattan bombing. In fact, all but one of her members are black with the exception of her partner Super Spesh. Their character designs explicitly invoke imagery of the Black Panthers and the overall Black Power movement.

The first game had you run around helping the Kreisau Circle, the Berlin-based Nazi resistance group that eventually cut the head off the Nazi war machine and stopping them from developing new weapons. This cell was lead by Caroline Decker, a paraplegic veteran. But, in the opening of this game, Caroline is executed by the main antagonist, Frau Engel, leaving a gaping hole in leadership that Grace fits perfectly. Who better to represent a 1960s violent uprising of the oppressed than a black woman in America?

She even goes so far as to move into Caroline’s old cabin in their captured Super U-Boat. From the start of the narrative, Wolfenstein is showing us that America is very different from a conquered Europe. For one, the English language is being banned, hearkening back to that old adage of “If the Nazis won, we’d all be speaking German”.

The largest among the differences though is that, just as Grace says above, America never stopped fighting the Nazis. The military did, yes, and the vast majority of the white population, including a South-governed KKK, but the fact that there is a dedicated anti-gravity airship, the Ausmerzer, whose sole role is to travel the country and crush resistance factions for the past decade tells us in no uncertain terms that the hold the Nazis have over America isn’t as ironclad as they believe it to be.

Even if they are able to put on one hell of a show.

We find newspaper clippings within the game describing resistance cells crushed by the Ausmerzer, and there’s even a moment during a trip to Roswell where you’re recognized (you’re the Reich’s most wanted, after all) by a local resident who, in a terrified act of defiance, whispers that he believes in what you’re doing when just seconds prior he was selling newspaper propaganda with glee.

The cap to this, however, is the final scene of the final mission of the game where you ambush Frau Engel’s live appearance on a talk show. You sneak through the bleachers and into the rafters, noting that every single person in the audience is a cardboard cutout. The show may be being broadcasted to every living room in the world, but it stands to reason that if people aren’t going to the live show…they’re not buying into the lies.

America is being crushed under the heel of the Nazis, yes, but it has yet to be crushed. Good people are still out there in the world, but they’ve forgotten how to resist. Those who were already filled with hate jumped on board, the minority, while everyone else is either putting their head in the sand or just trying to survive.

On the other side of the table, though, is how white America perceives the Nazis. I’ve already mentioned that the KKK controls the south, but it goes a whole lot deeper than that. Slavery has been legalized once more, and auctions are the talk of the town. We find out that, in true Nazi form, they rounded up the country’s degenerates—Jews, queer folk and people of color—and either purged them or sent them off to die in New Orleans…which is now a massive ghetto, Escape from New York style.

And if you “named names”, you were rewarded with what those same people left behind. Land rights, mansions, savings; everything they owned was either seized by the state or given as a gift to those who betrayed their friends and neighbors. This is not something we discover on a broad scale; it’s personal to B.J.

He visits his childhood home after nuking Area 52 (it wasn’t aliens, just ancient Jewish Techno Wizard secrets) and finds his abusive father, Rip, waiting for him, having heard he was in the area and assumed he’d come around. Rip, as we learned from flashbacks, was physically and emotionally abusive to both his son and his wife Zofia, a Jewish Polish immigrant. That, and he was a hardcore White Supremacist, having only married Zofia because he believed her father would be a business asset. He bemoans that no one knows what it is like to suffer as he does, thinking that everyone is trying to steal everything from the White Man.

In short, he represents everything that B.J. has spent his entire adult life fighting against.

When asked what happened to his mother, Rip admits that he sold her out to the Nazis and they took her away. The confrontation ends with B.J. killing his father after he presses a shotgun to his son’s forehead, but through their entire conversation he’d been on the phone with the Nazis. He’d sold out his son, too.

That’s the state of the world in Wolfenstein, and in The New Colossus you blow it the fuck up.

Terror-Billy Goes America All Over Everybody’s Ass

While the game’s marketing may have been pointing towards a parallel with the American Revolution as for how the country ousts the Nazis, I posit that the historical context is far more evocative of our 1960s.

Grace’s existence and design are already evidence of this, but it’s the rest of the resistance that makes this all the more clear. The second big group you recruit, aptly enough from the New Orleans ghetto itself, is lead by a man named Horton. He organizes a group of communists, socialists and anarchists who you’d think wouldn’t fit in with Grace and her people. These are the people that dodged the draft, even if they did push the concept of equal rights earlier than most. Horton even flat out cites their attempted push for a civil rights movement in an argument with B.J.

Of course, there’s a key difference between refusing to fight on foreign soil in a war that benefits the military industrial complex and what’s happening to them now. Horton’s group draws upon sentiment from both the end of the Great War and the counterculture movements of the 1960s.

Again, many of them were draft dodging pacifists, but that goes right out the window when it comes to Nazis. It’s one thing to refuse to fight a foreign enemy on foreign lands when victory would have only spread what you’re rebelling against. It’s quite another to sit by and accept fascism in the very country that allowed, though not always encouraged, you to believe what you saw in your heart as just.

It’s at the end of the game, however, in the ending cinematic, that this entire idea solidifies. That this historical context isn’t an accident, and the frankly unbelievable amount of homework MachineGames must have done paid off in spades. Mere moments after B.J. kills Frau Engel on live television, Grace and Horton speak directly into the cameras and ignite a violent revolution. The Kreisau Circle may be organized like a guerilla military operation, but the American people aren’t. They don’t need to be.

It’s an angry, raw, improvised and imperfect call to arms, but that’s what makes it perfect. Violent uprisings don’t start with eloquence or deep debating over the justification to fight against those who oppress you. They start with whatever you’ve got on hand. The Civil Rights movement, the Stonewall Riots and the general counterculture protests that dominated the 60s are clear influences on Wolfenstein’s depiction of “retaking America”. Seriously, if it didn’t sink in already, they blast a heavy metal cover of Twisted Sister’s “We’re Not Gonna Take It” over the end credits coupled with imagery of violent rioting and uprisings across the nation.

Wolfenstein does not attempt to hold a mirror to our world today, even if it does so inadvertently. It tries to make us look back, so that we remember how to keep moving forward. It’s message is clear because it knows what it’s talking about, no matter how over-the-top the presentation:

Equality is not a debate; it’s a right. Those without it won’t stop until they have it, because for them it’s literally “Fight, or Die”.  So the best thing you can do, if you’ve already got it, is to pick them up with you. And if you don’t? If you keep trying to push others down? It’s gonna get bloody, just like it always does, and chances are it won’t be them who’s dying.

Images courtesy of MachineGames

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The Mario Bros. are Returning to the Big Screen





mario bros. featured

That’s right, the Nintendo icons will hit your theaters yet again with the potential signing of a new deal between Nintendo and Universal Pictures to bring the Mario Bros. back to the site of one of the most infamous crimes in movie history. At least this time they won’t be live action?

The deal will task Illumination Entertainment, animated filmmaker for Universal, with developing an animated adaptation of the beloved Nintendo juggernaut. The studio, responsible for films such as Despicable Me, Minions, and The Secret Life of Pets, has reportedly negotiated the deal for over a year now. If finalized, it would be the first deal Nintendo has made for TV or film since the original 1993 disaster starring Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo.

Anyone who has seen the film could tell you why Nintendo would wait nearly 25 years to make another deal bringing the Mario Bros. to the big screen. For those who have not seen it, run. Run far, run fast, do not let anyone tempt you into watching. Not even if you like bad movies. For all the bad movies based on video games, you don’t get worse than Mario without delving into the crap-filled swamps that are Uwe Boll movies.

Of course, this is all speculation and it is a common feature of video game movies to end up in development hell keeping them from ever releasing. The deal has yet to be finalized, with the involvement of Nintendo themselves in development of the movie reportedly holding it up. If made official, the deal could lead to multiple Mario Bros. movies. If the first ever comes out.

I want to be optimistic. Making an animated movie sounds better than live-action, but after the failure of the Ratchet and Clank animated movie, I can’t be too optimistic. I’ve yet to see even one genuinely good video game movie. I don’t think there’s ever been one that was passable besides comparison to the wasteland of the genre. It would fit the ever-innovative and successful history of Mario to break the mold. I hope somehow they manage.

Image courtesy of Nintendo

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Shameless Juggles With Too Much Going On




Following up an episode mostly devoted to setting up the current season, the second in this season comes off as far more entertaining and emotional than I thought it would be. I’ve stated more than once that one of the issues that will continue to plague Shameless is the fact that the series has gone on for eight years and at this point it shows no indication of ending soon. At least to me. This however, does strike people in contrary ways. Some would like to see it end sooner rather than later so the show doesn’t become so oversaturated that its once-loyal following becomes split between people who have grown to hate it and those who will remain loyal fans. On the other hand you have those who want to see the show go on forever…well maybe at least another couple of more seasons. What ever the actuality is, it looks like we’re in for a different sort of season.

It does look like we’re in for something completely different with the Gallagher clan. They’ve grown and grown apart—some more than others. There is no central problem that all of them are involved in anymore; each member of the family is practically dealing with their own problems and their own list of close friends or enemies. It’s actually both an exciting and somewhat personal experience for those of us who have been with the series since the beginning and can only really imagine the Gallagher family as a whole, minus Frank of course.


This episode opens with the hilarious notion of Frank trying to become an employed member of society, scam free, while Carl lets his brothers reap the benefits of the pushed meth he sold for them. They all basically know that Frank may well be up to his old habits of trying to get injured at work so he can claim disability. He assures them that Monica was the cause of this “phase” in his life. We’ll see how long this actually lasts. Ian also begins to show some emotion in terms of Monica. It seems he’s one of the only people who actually was saddened by her death.

For Fiona, the life of a property owner has changed her story immensely as she learns that her way of keeping their home for the last seven years was so much more similar and yet so different from how the tenants of her apartment are. We get to meet her various tenants as she goes to collect their unpaid rents. We meet a woman with far too many kids that she can’t control and a over sarcastic attitude, two addicts who put a new meaning to the word mellow, and an crazy old lady who pretends to be a dog…her bark his pretty convincing.

Frank has more luck on his side as he gets interviewed by a reformed Islamic man who converted to Judaism for a woman he wanted to marry and then back to Islam when she left him. Apparently the plight of the widowed and divorced are similar enough that he hires despite his questionable and nonexistent work history. It seems Frank is not the only one trying to reclaim their “old” identities .

Lips story is still sad to the point that I just want to hit him. It’s clear he is not over Sierra no matter how much he tells his recovering buddies that he’s only trying to be nice. V has her own issues while working at Patsy’s as she worries about Kevin’s upcoming biopsy. Speaking of Kevin, he’s now enrolled in a breast cancer support group…without actually even being diagnosed. He does tap into the fears of someone who really has breast cancer but like Shameless, they get made fun of (not maliciously, though).

Ian’s tune finally changed around Trevor as he helps treats the at-risk youths in the city. Trevor tries to make him feel better by inviting him to a gay bar that has a high number of obese gay men and bikers. It’s a step forward for Ian and Trevor I guess? On Debbie’s end of things we can clearly see whats going on. Teenage motherhood is finally starting to catch up with her as barely spends any time with Neil and Franny anymore. Constantly leaving the two alone, a baby and a paraplegic, while she goes off to hang out with her new friends from class.

Liam, on the other hand, is living a whole new life as he stays at his rich friends house. Clearly much more different than the household he is used to. Trevor finally tells Ian what the Chubb bar will help him with. Not that he prays on them but apparently they are a lot more emotionally invested in their lovers and it makes for a sort of empathetic confidence boost when in a rut. By the end of it, Ian cries in an overly sympathetic fat man’s arms. Lip furthers to sadden his own life as he continues to babysit Sierra’s son free of charge.

Things at the Alibi have gotten even weirder without the Russians, as Kevin decides to give last goodbyes to all its patrons. Even Debbie is hanging around these parts with her new friends, all much older than her, but nonetheless it gives her a sort of release from her life as a mother? Not that we’ve actually seen her interact all that with her boyfriend or her daughter. She even comes home with a hickey on her neck that Neil sees! Not cool Debbie, seriously.

By the end of the night Ian does reveal to Fiona that it hurts him that he’s the only person who was affected by Monica’s death. It is nice to see Fiona acting like a real sister again, especially after her attitude last season. Nothing is funnier than the next day when Liam gets dropped off by his friends nanny and she is terrified of his neighborhood to the point that she speeds off.

Sibling love

Tension rises between the two eldest Gallagher boys as they get on each other for their respective Monica and Sierra situations and Lip plots with Frank to get Sierra’s addict boyfriend to slip up and use again. Low point for Lip, honestly if you’re taking advice from Frank. I don’t even want to mention how much I cried tears of laughter for Kevin’s “lumpectomy” day as he’s given two pancakes shaped like breasts…Gallaghers.

Back to Frank though, he is actually shining at his new job. If Frank is working a scam without giving anything away to us or the shows character I will really have to applaud William Macy on his acting skills, or Frank is serious about this new person thing and well on his way to becoming management…who knew?

Surely this isn’t really, Frank?

As Fiona begins to collect rent, the only person who pays up are the drug addicts, but we get to see more Nessa! Not nearly enough, however.

Kevin goes under for the biopsy closer to the end of the episode as he’s pumped with drugs and dry humor as Ian gets a tattoo of Monica. Hilariously the artist doesn’t know the tattoo is of his mother when he gives it quite a large chest. On the other hand, Kevin is cancer free! Not before being scared into thinking the news is bad. Lip sets up a drug pizza delivery to tempt Sierra’s boyfriend and we can only scoff at this, really a new low for him. Debbie is hitting a new low as well. Since Neil is now making excuses to not watch Franny, Debbie resorts to dumping the baby on her fathers mother and complaining about how over bearing he is to her co students. Liam’s friend gets to see the advantages of not being watched by adults as he spends the night in the Gallagher home, something we all dreamed of as kids.

Ian gets angry as Carl trades one of Monica’s old jackets for a couple of beers and a blowjob but discovers that she has a storage unit full of stuff that he wants to see. Fiona finally gets to let out some steam as the tenant with far too many children writes her a rent check of one cent paid out to the “cock guzzling sellout”…let’s say she and Debbie finally have a moment when they break down her door. Lip finally grows a conscience after he sees just how bad his drug delivery to Sierra’s boyfriend is damaging the man and chooses to be the bigger person and steal it back. The result is being mauled by a dog and Sierra’s boyfriend thinking Lip did it to help him out, casting out the doubt that Lip really cared for her but was rather just trying to win her back.

To be honest at this point, we can’t really help but agree with the latter. This will raise some serious questions if or when Sierra finds out. The episode ends with Carl and Ian running from a drug addict in Monica’s storage unit claiming they stole his meth.



This was a much faster paced episode than the premiere, but with purpose. As mentioned above, each and every central character (including Kevin and V) have basically gone off on their own and developed their own separate stories not included in the collective of a single household. That is where the pacing itself could get a little tricky. There are simply too many characters doing their own thing at this point that to dedicate more time to one, which can be as little as a few minutes, would mean another few lose what could have made them relevant for that episode instead of just excluding them for that episode altogether. While the writers are currently handling it excellently, it may cause some trouble down the road as certain characters storylines become more important than others, a tough choice and strategy in writing they’ll have to consider.

For what the episode was I really enjoyed the Fiona plot. It seems like she’s in a better place than she’s been in a while and other than what ever the writers plan to do with her and Nessa; I think this is the longest we’ve seen her without a love interest. I say keep it that way but include more Nessa—we barely saw her at all this episode! Which of course, goes back to what I was saying about the amount of time allotted to each character. Since she’s not really a central character, yet, it might be some time before we start seeing more of her. A prime example of this working out in the show’s favor is when they decided to push Svetlana from a background character to a major force in Kevin and V’s life, until she wasn’t anymore.

Me when there’s not enough Nessa

As for Lip and Ian, they’ve sort have become exceedingly self destructive. Where Lip is looking for someone to fall with him, Ian has all but sort of isolated himself emotionally. He is expressing himself but not in the right ways and mostly comes off as bitter. Lip I ashamed of; he knows just how ugly addiction can be and he almost put another recovering addict in danger of relapse. Luckily, he came to his senses though taking the easy way by agreeing he was just trying to help. It really is hard not to see the old Frank in him from time to time and like his addiction I feel like he’s going to juggle that problem for the rest of his life.

Speaking of Frank, I honestly don’t know what to believe when it comes to his current work ethic. It really does seem like he’s trying but for how long? We have been burned by Frank too many times to truly believe he’s changed and even if he has can we truly forgive him for everything that he’s done? Debbie is my least favorite this season. I get that she feels trapped and overwhelmed by her child and Neil but I can’t feel bad for her because this was all her decision. She choose to sperm jack her ex into having a baby and she choose to stay with Neil. If she’s going to keep up with her nonsense I really hope she just has the courage to end it with Neil and not just cheat on him.

Seriously Debbie, not cool.

All images courtesy of Showtime

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