Friday, April 12, 2024

Agents of SHIELD Returns, Again

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That may have been the single most mediocre hour of television I have ever watched. I spoke to Kylie while watching this week’s Agents of SHIELD and she thought I was making the dialog up. I wasn’t. That’s how baffling this episode became.

Look, the MCU is a place where Ultron actually existed. Rogue AI was a proven scary thing, and the first thing it did was go all Skynet. That’s a thing. It happened. So, no matter how many times Agents of SHIELD tries to lampshade the fact that it’s happening all over again—that’s not gonna fix the fact that it’s, well, happening all over again.

Honestly, this entire episode can be summed up so perfectly by something Yoyo said about midway through:

“Smart people are stupid.”

That’s it. That’s the whole driving force of the plot. Everyone smart acting like idiots.

Sure, there’s a subplot about Senator Nadir killing her Inhuman brother and with Discount Bruce Wayne, Simmons and Daisy trying to save him but honestly that’s—it just sort of happened? It existed to…well, not fill screen time, that’s the A-plot’s job. It’ll have some sort of payoff, I’m sure, but there wasn’t any emotional resonance.

I’m really not used to sympathizing with murder-suicide pacts made between genocidal bigots, I guess.

Anyway, the rest of the episode is split between two things: Mack calling Radcliffe an idiot and/or making references to as many pieces of Evil Robot Uprising media he can and AIDA trying to steal the Darkhold. For Radcliffe. Because he wants to achieve Immortality. And also the RobotMay was his idea.

Yeah, I don’t get it either.

But, if that wasn’t strange enough, we’re getting a ton of ship-teasing between Phil and RobotMay. Which is just perfect, especially since Mack actually took the time to call AIDA a Sex Robot, which I kind of appreciated. They’re “just friends”, though.

…and he didn’t say that he couldn’t have sex with her.

Jesus. I can’t…I’m not even sure if we’re supposed to take this seriously or not. I know Agents of SHIELD blew their CG budget on Ghost Rider and can’t use him anymore, but did they cut into their writing budget too?

That’s not rhetorical. I’m asking. Because that would explain so much. Case in point:

 

If I wasn’t reviewing this series I would have turned off the TV right there. I love Cinema Sins as much as the next guy, but come on.  Network television?!

They didn’t even use the joke right! Ugh.

Come back next week’s to see Agents of SHIELD for…more Evil British Doctor Shenanigans and the adventures of May the Sex Robot!

And wow, that carries so many problematic implications that…wow. Just wow.


Images courtesy of ABC

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