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Top 10 Welcome to Night Vale Episodes



With a bulk of over four years of bi-monthly episodes, Welcome to Night Vale can seem a little daunting to get (back) into. Even though the creators orient the podcast as a story you can hop into and hop off of as you want, keeping the events fresh in the listeners’ memory every so often, there’s nothing quite like delving back into the past episodes. As a long time fan, I’m tempted to recommend a full re-listen, but considering that represents dozens of hours, that’s not a recommendation one can follow in a heartbeat. Here is a list of my personal top 10 episodes of Welcome to Night Vale that I think either best portray a specific aspect of the podcast and its universe. Or, that I like to listen to when I feel like visiting Night Vale again but don’t necessarily have the time for a full-length re-listen.

As with all rankings: none of this is objective and your preferences may vary. In fact, I would love to hear what episodes particularly moved other listeners. This is just what did it for me. Note that although Welcome to Night Vale is rarely a plot driven story, this will contain spoilers for different narrative arcs, which may or may not ruin your listening experience if you do not wish to be spoiled by the events from later seasons.

10.) “Who’s A Good Boy?” (Eps. 89/90)

“Let’s have a look now at the Community Calendar. All events this week are canceled. This week is also canceled. You might be canceled, too.”

The two-part finale of the fourth year of episodes is certainly… something else. The first year culminated in Cecil and Carlos tacitly admitting to romantic feelings for one another. The second and third years’ finales also offer key advancement in their relationship (those episodes will be covered down below). In a sudden turn of events, the fourth year ends in, well, an evil puppy and his army of Strangers bringing wrath and destruction on the town of Night Vale.

I’ll skip through the description of world-ending puppy plight, although it is a very entertaining finale and I particularly appreciate the new OTP of former intern Maureen and Dark Owl Records employee Michelle Nguyen suggested by this episode. What I find so special about this episode is its resolution. Namely, we have no idea how it does get resolved. Did the chanting of the devotees of the Smiling God put an end to the Strangers army? Did Hiram McDaniel the five-headed dragon scare them with his fire and roar? Did Tamika Flynn’s book-loving child militia drive them away? Did Khoshekh the floating cat beat the puppy in single combat? All alternatives and more are brought up and considered, but the narrative never gives the precise answer as to how the evil was actually defeated, if it even was.

This two-parter fully dives into what makes Night Vale what it is: a story about bringing people together. More than any epic plot point, the feelings of love, trust, and community are what prevails over the fiends. This episode doesn’t even bother with pretending to give us a definite ending because it doesn’t matter. What matters is that the town of Night Vale stood against the oppressor, that it was united, and that they came out intact. Oh, and any time Cecil breaks the rule against acknowledging angels is always worth counting.

9.) “The September Monologues” / “The April Monologues” (Eps. 53/85)

“It is September, and something is different. It is September, and the days have gone sinister – from first eye’s open to last slow breathing. It is September, and so, listeners – dear listeners – Night Vale Public Radio is proud to introduce The September Monologues.”

“It is April, and something is different. It is April, and the days have depth and vibrance. It is April and so, dear listeners, Night Vale Community Radio is pleased to present The April Monologues.”

I put these two episodes together because, although they play a very different part in the story, their format is the same. Three monologues: the Faceless Old Woman who secretly lives in your home, Michelle from Dark Owl Records and Cecil’s brother-in-law Steve Carlsberg. The three characters couldn’t be more different. From the Faceless Old Woman who tells a story of being confused by the person whose house she lives in to the apathetic record hipster Michelle, and then Steve Carlsberg who we only ever heard from Cecil who is less than a fan of the man, the three monologues are completely unique. Yet, in a way that cannot be explained, they make perfect sense together. “The September Monologues” plays very much into the atmospheric side of Welcome to Night Vale. The creepy leads to the utter absurd, and then to the oddly, weirdly inspiring.

In particular, these episodes are a great way to show POV bias. As most episodes are only told through the voice of Cecil, the voice of Night Vale, his opinion on events and people is easily mistaken for objective reality. This episode completely breaks that illusion. Steve, who was always presented as a complete killjoy, a fool who didn’t know anything about anything, a “complete jerk”, is now given a voice and a personality.

This isn’t the first time we meet him (his first appearance was in “Old Oak Doors”, which finds its spot down below in this list), but the “Monologues” grant him his own space completely aside from Cecil’s biases. We know his thoughts about the world he lives in, how his circumstances have shaped how he interacts with the people around him. That’s something we would have never learned just from discussions between him and Cecil, who would never have granted him that much time and freedom to express himself.

The “April Monologues” are unique for a different reason in that they are much more integrated in a cohesive storyline that is the fourth season of Night Vale. In this episode just like many others in the fourth year, we feel a sense of doom and unease building around the characters of Chad, Maureen, and their puppy dog (who does end up being the villain of the season). This episode is particularly good in that it builds upon the format established by “The September Monologues” (a standalone episode) and uses that foundations to place the pieces of the puzzle of the season, linking atmosphere and plot development. For me, the unit formed by these two episodes is a must-listen.

8.) “Josefina” (Ep. 97)

“Thanks for sharing your life with Night Vale, Josie.”

This one is a little bit indulgent from me as a Parks and Recreation fan. This is the story of Josefina Ortiz, better known as Old Woman Josie, voiced by Retta (who plays Donna Meagle on Parks and Rec). This is one of the oldest characters on the podcast, not just due to her old age but also how long she’s been a part of the podcast. She was introduced in the very first episode. In fact, she’s the first character named. In this episode, Cecil interviews Old Woman Josie to share with the town of Night Vale the story of her life. We learn about her past with the angels, how they came to be her friends and protectors, her passion for opera, her family life… It’s a very emotional episode that shows so much sensitivity and respect for an old lady who we’ve come to know and love.

What makes this episode particularly bittersweet is that Old Woman Josie’s health has been slowly deteriorating, ultimately leading (spoiler alert) to her passing away a few episodes later. Learning everything about her, focusing solely on such a fascinating character, seems so much more essential on retrospective when you know you had so little time left with her. She was an outstanding character, and I’m happy that the show celebrated her before it was too late.

7.) “The Sandstorm” (Ep. 19)

“The future is what you make of it! Just know that your supplies are limited. Welcome to Desert Bluffs.”

This two-part episode truly introduces the town of Desert Bluffs, the rival and alter-ego of Night Vale. A sand storm is raging over Night Vale (and Desert Bluffs) and everyone now has a clone, which they must kill or be killed by them. Cecil sees his nemesis Kevin for the first time as he finds himself by accident in the radio booth of ‘Welcome to Desert Bluffs.’ Speaking of POV bias… The structure of this episode is probably the most interesting. It’s made of two very similar episodes, one from Cecil’s point of view, ending with Kevin taking over the booth just before the Weather and vice-versa for the other. Every aspect is made to mirror the other town, from the commercials to the special announcements and the listener messages, etc.

This episode is particularly interesting in that it is the first dedicated to showing just how different and also very similar Cecil and Kevin are. Both are goodhearted people devoted to their community. But where Night Vale is openly scary and weird, Desert Bluffs is an oppressive dictatorship hidden behind a big, big smile. Though life in both cities seems to be equally daunting, Kevin keeps a very optimistic heart. For two men who will remain two major foils for each other throughout the show, or at the very least the second and third seasons, this introduction serves the comparison extremely well. Two radio hosts with a lot of love and hope to give and the first episode of their dual narrative gives them perfect justice.

Note that “The Sandstorm” also introduces a big aspect of intern Dana’s character: the fact that she is not sure whether she’s the clone or if she killed her clone. This contributes to her being racked with self-doubt even later in her life and in the show.

6.) “Toast” (Ep. 100)

“I once described Night Vale as a friendly desert community, where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep. And it still is. I know nowhere friendlier. I know nowhere hotter. The moon is still beautiful. Mysterious lights still pass overhead, and Carlos, I can’t wait for every night I get to pretend to sleep next to you.”

I think all listeners expected the hundredth episode to be something special. And boy, was it worth the wait. The episode builds up a celebration happening in Night Vale. All characters seem to be present at the party, which is a delight because some of these voice actors are far too rarely heard from. I’m thinking of Josie again, but also other minor characters such as John Peters or Diane Crayton.

Throughout the episode we’re given more and more clues that this is not any random celebration, but rather a specific event, namely the wedding of Cecil and Carlos. This feels good. This just feels really good, as a gay person, to listen to a full episode of a town of characters I love celebrating the wedding of two men. Their love story has been a core part of Welcome to Night Vale from the very first episode where Cecil “fell in love instantly”. There’s been ups and downs in their relationship, of course, and there were moments when I feared for them, but this, actually hearing them married, this is beyond priceless. It’s the proof that the creators take us seriously, that they take the relationship they’ve built seriously and that they can be trusted. This episode is everything.

5.) “Taking Off” / “Review” (Ep. 70)

“Night Vale is just a name, Cecil. Night Vale is just the name for an area where everyone you love lives. Don’t worry about the name. Worry about the everyone.”

Speaking of episode meaning everything, here is the finale of the third year of Welcome to Night Vale episodes. After a year of Carlos being stuck in the desert otherworld of the Night Vale dog park, both of them are getting antsy and need the situation to change. Cecil has been feeling more and more disconnected from his own city, something not helped in the least by the fact that someone has been taking possession of him by buying him at an auction and using him to randomly save Mayor Cardinal without Cecil remembering the events. Carlos has been feeling lonely, and his work researching in the desert is amounting to nothing. It’s been a hard season for the both of them. They had to relearn how to live and work and exist separated from the other. Even though both Cecil and Carlos are very dedicated to their work as radio host and scientist, solitude hit them hard.

The double episode is built in a way that makes us believe Carlos is unhappy with the relationship, mirroring the way Cecil is unhappy with his city. We fear that Carlos might break up with Cecil just as Cecil is getting ready to make the big jump and move away from Night Vale to the desert otherworld, an idea he’d been toying with for quite some time, since he went on vacation to visit Carlos there. In the end, the truth was that Carlos was in fact unhappy with the distance between him and Cecil and that a mishap at his desert otherworldly lab made him reconsider the importance of his job compared to how much Cecil means to him.

It’s a beautiful parallel of these two men coming to the conclusion that, while they love their job, they love their boyfriend even more. Both of them were ready to make the move. In the end, Carlos was the one who did it first and left the desert otherworld, but there is no doubt that Cecil was just as ready. All of this is intercut with plot elements of Hiram McDaniel plotting against Mayor Cardinal, but even more than the action element, I think the romance jumps out the most during this finale. And after a year of Cecil and Carlos moping for one another, it feels great to hear them reunited. It’s a great moment of character growth for Carlos and an amazing punctuation mark to end a great, albeit angsty, season.

4.) “Flight” (Ep. 98)

“Those who remember history are also doomed to repeat it. Welcome to Night Vale.”

This episode managed to be both so political while also not being political at all. Not to delve into details of our real world, this is neither the time or the place, but let’s just say that this episode was the first episode released after the American election of 2016. I have no idea if it was written in advance of or in emergency for the occasion but one thing is certain. Tt was extremely on point. There weren’t any shoehorned or hamfisted comparisons with our real life circumstances. Rather, this episode was in complete continuity with a plot that had been developing for years, namely Hiram McDaniel’s plot against Dana Cardinal.

After attempting to kill her and being condemned to death for it, the day of execution has finally arrived. Considering Hiram McDaniel is a well beloved character within fandom, no one approached this episode with joy. The atmosphere is extremely thick and heavy all throughout, appropriately. Add to that the constant mentions of Old Woman Josie’s health deteriorating and the episode is filled with despair and the impression that there is no good outcome for this situation. Before his execution can be completed, Hiram escapes Night Vale, but one of his five heads gets shot and dies: Violet, the innocent one who never took part in the murder plot against Dana Cardinal.

The parallels with the real life situation are easy to draw, even if the episode is perfectly integrated in the Night Vale narrative and if it makes sense within the events already established. The sense of despair, the impression that something innocent and helpless has been harmed and hurt without reason, without justice. Those feelings were transmitted vividly. Even Cecil, who can often see the best in people and situations, was left completely dumbfounded by the death and couldn’t find a word of hope to share with the listeners. This episode was good in its narrative and outside of it. It told the listeners that we were understood, that we weren’t alone, and in perilous times, that’s a feeling many of us need.

3.) “Voicemail” (Ep. 65)

“You have reached the voicemail of Cecil Gershwin Palmer. That might seem like an easy thing to do, but think about how long you had to stay alive just to learn how a phone works and who I am. Congratulate yourself on that. Give yourself a vigorous pat on the back, and…don’t forget to leave a message after the heavily distorted sample of a man saying ‘I just couldn’t eat another bite.'”

I’ll admit: this episode’s ranking is probably even less objective than the rest. It’s one of those episodes that doesn’t really have a plot, but rather uses the atmosphere of Night Vale to leave you with a head full of possibilities but no real takeaway for the most part. The concept is clear just from the title. This is a series of Cecil’s voicemails.

What I love about this episode is how vividly you can imagine the life of Cecil Palmer. Throughout all the messages he gets, so many aspects of his personality are implied. From the caring boyfriend through Carlos’ excited voicemails about his latest scientific discoveries to the loving uncle through his brother-in-law Steve’s request for Cecil to babysit his niece Janice. We also learn that Cecil is a Woody Guthrie fan, that he is keeping in touch with his childhood friend Earl, that he plays bowling with Old Woman Josie, that he has been putting distance between himself and his former intern Dana, as well as many other things.

Though we learn a few details about the desert otherworld that is his interest later in the season and we get reminded that Cecil’s nemesis Kevin is still around, this episode is really not about moving forward. It’s about appreciating Cecil as a character, the many relationships he has formed with the people of his town and how they relate to him. It’s a slow, quiet episode and in a show that is so often narrated by just the one man, it feels nice from time to time to take a step back and enjoy the voice acting of such a wide cast of talented performers.

2.) “Triptych” (Ep. 73)

“You win, Kevin. Everything goes right. You and community radio prevail. And you are happier than ever. Desert Bluffs is a wonderful town, and you live happily in it.”

Man, is this episode deep. Short anecdote before I talk about it. When I first started to listen to Welcome to Night Vale, I reached “The Sandstorm” and immediately loved Kevin’s character. I found him to be so positive, cheerful, and adorable. I posted about it on my blog and was immediately met with “you sweet summer child” replies. Indeed, this was before I learned that Kevin turns out to be a major protagonist throughout the show. However, his cheerfulness is given a lot of depth and nuance; this episode is the backstory we deserved for such a key character.

Through some technical malfunction at the radio studio, Cecil accidentally crosses waves with three different versions of Kevin, three impromptu time travels of only a few minutes. One of them is from the past, long before the show begins, before the city of Desert Bluffs was overtaken by the megacorporation StrexCorp. One is from barely a few months before the episode, when StrexCorp was ruling over Night Vale. The last one is from the future, when Kevin has become an old man tired of a much-too-long life. He also briefly finds the first, earliest version of Kevin.

Through the encounter, we are witness to Kevin’s change of personality. We learn that his love for community radio and for his city is completely sincere, that he was initially against StrexCorp but was brainwashed into it when they bought his radio studio forcefully. We learn that in his old age, he has many regrets and that his cheerfulness, which was originally so sincere and tender, has become a meaningless shell. The episode gives a lot of nuance to Kevin’s character as well as insight as to his motivations and values. Knowing that even to this day he remains a character on the show is priceless.

1.) “Old Oak Doors” (Ep. 49)

“And what are we, Night Vale, without darkness? Without shadows? And without secrets?”

God, this episode has everything. It is the culmination of season two of Welcome to Night Vale where the main plot has revolved mostly around StrexCorp taking over the city of Night Vale to enslave them into being more productive. But it also brings together the plot point of intern Dana being stuck in a desert otherworld for many episodes now as well as old oak doors appearing over Night Vale. It also concludes the mayoral campaign that had started a long time ago, opposing five headed dragon Hiram McDaniel and the Faceless Old Woman who secretly lives in your home. It is a densely packed episode and even adding to that, it is a live recorded episode, cut with audience reactions and interactions.

What doesn’t this episode have? This may be very biased of me, as I am very partial to the characters of Dana and Kevin, and they have a lot of content in season 2, including this episode. At the same time, I find that there is simply nothing to complain about in this episode. It is one long ride of everything that makes up Welcome to Night Vale and the coming together of all plotlines is very satisfying. Who doesn’t want such a great season finale? The evil corporation is defeated out of Night Vale, Dana is not only saved from the desert otherworld but also elected mayor (?! a position she wasn’t even applying to?), an appearance from youth hero Tamika Flynn, the hilarious mayoral election. Even the plot point of Carlos being stuck in the desert otherworld was installed in this episode.

On top of it all, this being a live recorded episode is a reminder of the greatness of Night Vale live shows. If you’ve listened to an episode (which you probably have, if you’re reading this), then you’ve heard Joseph Fink tell you that if you have never been to a live show, you are missing out. From someone whose life has been changed by seeing a Night Vale live show last year, I can confirm that he has never spoken truer words. This aspect is just the final icing of the cake that is the episode “Old Oak Doors”.

The Last Word

This is it for my top ten Welcome to Night Vale episodes. Maybe you disagree with some of the episodes on this list, or their order. Hell, maybe you disagree with the whole list. Honestly, I believe that there are no WTNV episodes to throw away or skip. These are just my personal favorites that I privilege when I have few time to spare to listen to one of my favorite podcast. I would love to hear arguments in favor of others, so take it to the comments and we can gush about this amazing show!

Featured Image Courtesy of Night Vale Presents



Are We Ready to Admit that Thor: Ragnarok was a Hot Mess?





I didn’t watch Thor: Ragnarok in theaters. Actually, I hadn’t seen anything post-Ultron and was fine being free of the MCU for a few years. Then Black Panther came along and I found it so compelling that it washed away any Marvel fatigue I had been feeling. When the opportunity arose to watch the third Thor movie on an airplane, I hit the play button with genuine excitement.

Going into this, I had heard almost all positive things. I knew there were some similarities to Black Panther in the central themes, I knew Jeremiah gave it a glowing review, and I knew it was supposed to be exceedingly funny.

I was also no stranger to the Thor standalones. I felt his introductory movie was a bit silly, but did what it could with a superhero that well…lends himself to silliness. It’s a Norse god in a contemporary setting, after all. The result was a slightly boisterous fish-out-of-water tale with compact development and a pretty solid foundation on which we could understand his character. Thor 2: Dark World was absolutely odious as an artform, but I loved it anyway, much for the same reason Attack of the Clones is my favorite prequel. It was ironic enjoyment, but if you can’t be enthused by Natalie Portman running around in squeaky rainboots with her Science Machine™, then I can’t help you. Plus, it was Thorested Development.

Was I expecting some gaps in my knowledge given me sleeping on Civil Wars? Yes. Granted, those same gaps existed for Black Panther, and shockingly I was still able to fully understand his father’s death, as well as what Agent Ross meant to T’Challa and what their relationship was like. But I promise, I turned on Thor 3 with all the right intentions, and what I consider to be fairly measured expectations.

I turned it off wondering if I had a fundamental misunderstanding about the concept of a movie.

Two Plots, No Payoff

If I had watched Thor: Ragnarok on VHS in the 90s, I probably would have begun to wonder if someone taped over the entire middle portion with a completely different Thor film. Because it’s not just that there were two major plot threads, it’s that there were two different tones. Hell, there were almost two different genres when you get down to it.

The first is what I have to assume is the “main plot,” since it’s what the movie sets up in the first acts, and closes in the third. This is the story about Asgard’s legacy and reckoning against the threat of Hela, the Goddess of Death.

Thor is told by some demon guy that his dad isn’t at home anymore, so he goes back to Asgard find Loki pretending to be Odin. Then a random wizard tells them both that their dad is in Norway (yes, I know it’s Doctor Strange, but I’m talking about this movie on its own merits). They go there, but Odin is all sad and about to die, which means that his true heir—his firstborn daughter Hela—will escape from the prison he set up for her. You see, she’s the Goddess of Death and had been the leader of Asgard’s armies for Odin when he apparently conquered the Nine Realms, but she became too ambitious for his taste. What, a tenth was a bridge too far for Daddy Imperialist?

Whatever, he dies.

Thor and Loki go to confront the now-released Hela, she breaks Thor’s hammer, they get chased off, she takes over Asgard with the intention of more conquering, most people think she sucks so she raises dead zombies and a giant wolf to fight for her instead, and then Thor and some random friends come back to fight her again. He realizes he can only save his people, but he can’t save Asgard itself from Hela since she’s too powerful. He evacuates everyone, mainly with Heimdall and Loki’s help. Hela stabs Thor’s eye out and Thor levels up his lightning powers, but it’s still not enough to do anything about her, so he summons that demon guy from the beginning to have him destroy Hela…and all of Asgard. But it’s fine; he’s the King because Asgard is a people and not a place. Odin even pops in a vision at some point to tell him that.

This is a fine story. There’s things in it that could be explored, especially Thor reconciling with Odin’s savage, imperialistic legacy. It’s a bit hamstrung by Odin himself pooping out of the narrative entirely after dropping the plot bomb into Thor’s lap (seriously, am I alone in thinking this is one of the least effective death scenes in movie history? Certainly in MCU history?), and it’s a bit formulaic in the sense that the “bad guy” is more the concept of implacable evil.

I personally struggle with the messaging and execution of it. It’s not that coming to terms with the fallibility of your Kingly father and his decisions made while ruling your country is a weak narrative choice. That, you know, was the entirety of Black Panther, and what made it significant was the way in which T’Challa defined his duty on the throne in a way that made sense for himself and the changed context of the world. It was a meaningful shedding of idealization while coming into his own as a ruler.

This movie should have been that for Thor, but his realization about “Asgard is a people” was just sort of beamed into his head by Odin. Literally, Hela was choking him out, and he flashes to a vision of Odin telling him what to think of Asgard as well as his own powers. 

Then, what does that say if it’s Odin’s words Thor’s living by? That he does still respect this guy and want to follow in his footsteps, despite learning that he was a literal conqueror? That even asshole imperialists can have some good points? (Why does this keep happening?) Or was that Odin coming to the realization when he came to Thor, and he had reached this epiphany off-screen in the afterlife? It was like, “Oh hey I didn’t need to do all that conquering, because my duty was to my people and not the glory of this place.” 

It didn’t even seem like Thor came to the conclusion that destroying physical Asgard was a necessary thing given the place’s legacy and bloody history—just given the situation and how there was some lady with a dead army they couldn’t beat. It was a decision made in the heat of battle when the day was lost, but now he’s got his eyepatch and his people and a spaceship, so he’s ready to fill Odin’s shoes. You know…the shoes that we learned shouldn’t have been worn in the first place. Because imperialism. 

Also the requisite, “crazy over-ambitious woman couldn’t listen to her father when to chill with all the killing” complaint. Cate Blanchett saves it a little, but it’s there.

So yes, for all the weighty subjects floated in this plotline, none of them were actually given significant narrative weight, or exploration, or anything really. I suppose Hela’s claim to the throne and history with Asgard made her more of a meaningful threat; she was a monster of Asgard’s making, not to yet again call back to the film that pulled off all these concepts with actual dexterity and significance. But even with that, she was just evil. She didn’t have any nuanced points, or any compelling reason for anyone to follow her. Just that Odin had once been cool with her, but that stopped.

There was also nothing remotely familial or personal about her dynamic with Thor or Loki since she didn’t actually know them or seem to care about their general existence, and her abilities were never well-conveyed to even give the fight might grounding. We may as well have had Mjolnir shooting through multiple portals again.

That’s not to say these things couldn’t have been done or executed well. This was a long movie and whole lot of time to flesh out Hela’s relationship to our protagonist, or Thor’s relationship to his conception of governance and his home, or the Asgardian commoner point of view, or even to seed the demon guy that eventually brought the cataclysm just a wee bit better than the opening joke did.

No, it was far better we spent it with Thor rolling his eyes and debating the semantics of “crown”

It’s just that instead, the movie spent the bulk of its time seemingly uninterested in the main plot. Because there was ~junk planet antics~ to be had.

And yup, there’s plotline #2: Thor is in yet another wacky weekend adventure that he has to get out of! Which I don’t hate as a concept. I will happily pop some corn kernels and plop down with either of the Thor standalones, because they’re somewhat doofy fun. Just don’t stick me in the middle of this thing after setting up something rather serious and weighty. (And maybe don’t set up that serious, weighty thing by having a wizard warp two main characters to Norway.)

As a brief, brief summary, after Hela throws Thor and Loki out of Asgard, he finds himself alone on a junk planet called Sakaar. He’s captured by some lush played by Tessa Thompson who just so happens to be a former Valkyrie, a member of an Asgardian all-female elite warrior group that had fought Hela before her imprisonment. She sells him to Jeff Goldblum, who rules (?) Sakaar. So Thor is enslaved, literally has a controlling device thing in his neck, and is forced to fight in a gladiator ring. The ultimate Sakaar champion he goes up against is…the Hulk, who has somewhat-permanently hulked out. They fight and Jeff Goldblum cheats to let the Hulk win, which isn’t really worth talking about, though it takes up about ten minutes of screentime so it must be important to someone. Oh, and Loki’s there and Jeff Goldblum’s friend because it’s working to his favor at the moment.

After the fight, Thor quasi-escapes to the ship the Hulk arrived on, there’s some recording of Natasha on it that de-Hulks Bruce Banner. At some point Loki forces Valkyrie to see a vision of her past trauma (her fellow soldiers dying to Hela) so she decides she wants to help Thor get back to Asgard, and then everyone escapes Sakaar by inciting a slave uprising and stealing one of Jeff Goldblum’s ships.

I have spent longer than I care to admit trying to figure out how this possibly relates to the rest of the movie. And I should note, Sakaar takes up well over half the runtime, so it’s not like it can be dismissed as this ancillary plot cul de sac necessity to get Thor and Bruce to run into one another. Like, this had to have meant something, right? Was Jeff Goldblum meant to be contrasted with Odin? Was this system of injustice that Thor witnessed supposed to be the reason why he summoned the destruction of Asgard in the end, and the writers simply never felt the need to explicate this in any way?

I can’t get there. Even the very minor twist of “Loki almost betrayed Thor at the end of the Sakaar sequence, but then comes back and saves Asgard” did not need to be rooted in this setting, nor was it even particularly necessary to the overall story or relationship of the brothers. Thor caught onto Loki at the beginning of the movie when he called him out as fake!Odin—we can see he already learned from Dark World. Loki is the God of Mischief, but that doesn’t mean his usage should be God of False Narrative Conflict In A Desperate Attempt To Inject Last Minute Tension. Because that’s a mouth full.

Maybe it’s my own problem that I was waiting to get back to the plot of the movie during every Sakaar scene instead of realizing this is the plot now. It’s just that normally when movies have a lengthy and pointless side-mission, especially one that cannibalizes this percentage of the runtime, they’re not viewed particularly favorably.

But hey, at least Thor wasn’t learning about systemic injustice and the strength of compassion on a casino planet that tied immaculately into the thematic thrust; that would have ruined everything.

Character Arrested Development

I couldn’t help myself with The Last Jedi fandom dialogue shade. But I do think that’s actually somewhat relevant here. Because I don’t really care that ~not enough happened~ overall or that Finn and Rose had a “pointless” (it was really more fruitless, and that was the point) side-mission. What I cared about was that what happened on our screen worked together towards a meaning, and that characters grew as a result of them. The Last Jedi may not have thought through implications perfectly, or executed things in as refreshing or satisfying a way as possible, but it’s exceedingly hard to argue anything was ancillary given how every single damned character had pretty tight and clear growth.

Thor: Ragnarok had barely anything.

If I could be really generous with Thor himself, he accepted the leadership of Asgard in a way he rejected it from the first movie. But also, his dad’s dead, so necessity makes for strange kings, you know? There’s also nothing that occurs within this movie that particularly leads to him wanting to take on that mantle. At best, it’s that he learns his power isn’t derived from his hammer, but controlled through it, though he learns that through Divine Daddy Almost-Death Vision. So he kind of starts off thinking he’s this awesome lightning god, and ends the movie thinking the same thing, but for slightly different reasons and with means that might look different in a fight.

I mean, I guess leveling up is technically character growth…

There’s also Thor abandoning Asgard, but nothing to indicate it has anything to do with him being upset about Odin’s imperialist rule. If that was meant to be the framing, there’s just nothing that occurs onscreen to back it up. Loki complains that Hela is growing stronger every minute she’s in Asgard and Thor repeats Divine Daddy Vision point #2 as justification. Hell, when Hela and Thor meet for their final fight, Thor quotes Odin while sitting on his throne.

It should be noted that Divine Daddy Vision was the final push Thor needs to overcome the antagonist.

Odin (still in Norway, or King’s Cross Station, or something): Asgard is not a place. Never was. This could be Asgard. Asgard is where our people stand. Even now, right now, those people need your help.

Thor: I’m not as strong as you.

Odin: No… You’re stronger.

Does Thor seem like someone who’s having trouble reconciling his father’s legacy, or is it someone who’s still taking advice from the guy, but oh yeah that murdery spree he went on a while ago was unfortunate? And again, what Thor says about Asgard’s destruction has diddly squat to do with its legacy:

“Surtur destroys Asgard, he destroys Hela, so that our people may live. But we need to let him finish the job…”

I had to look up what the prophecy specifically was, since it was told to us by Surtur (the demon) in a very jokey early sequence that Thor didn’t even bother taking seriously, so why were we supposed to have? It’s just that Surtur will lay waste to Thor’s home. No motivation or anything.

My point is, Thor doesn’t really come to any realization about himself, or Asgard, or even Odin. He learns things, he likes Odin’s pithy governance lesson, but he doesn’t contextualize anything for himself or really grow because of it. He just figures out battle odds and gets a haircut. That’s his arc.

There’s the vague character growth that Thor doesn’t let Loki trick him again, again, again, so I can give him that. I don’t believe this is the context it needed to happen in, or that Thor’s way of exposing Loki at the start would have been too little to that thread, but okay. That continued.

Meanwhile, Loki has absolutely become the Game of Thrones Littlefinger of this universe. He instills chaos in his own plans for chaos’s sake (that is his thing), and how convenient that it lines up to plot demands. Thor kind of calls out this character stagnation to him, ironically ignoring his own:

“Oh, dear brother, you’re becoming predictable. I trust you, you betray me. Round and round in circles we go. See, Loki, life is about… It’s about growth. It’s about change. But you seem to just wanna stay the same. I guess what I’m trying to say is that you’ll always be the God of Mischief, but you could be more.”

So I guess it’s a sign of growth that Loki does go back and try to save Asgard with Thor. Even in the very end, Thor mentions how he believes Loki’s presence to be a trick, but Loki is actually there, physically. Maybe he’s…“not so bad.”

Hero shot!

It’s just, this guy’s scripting has been all over the place, and there’s no particular reason to believe his decision is the sign of any lasting change. He teamed up with the prisoners to get out of Sakaar in what’s most easily read as self-preservation, and even when he returned to Asgard, he was calling himself the “savior” and trying to milk his contribution. Maybe, just maybe Loki grew in this movie for the sole reason that he got sad when Thor called him the “God of Mischief.” Because that’s all that would have spurred this. Not the stakes of the situation, not Loki’s own guilt over Odin’s death, and not even Loki wishing he could rectify his poor public image on Asgard. Just, his brother is very disappointed in him.

Yeah, that could be an arc. Though I can’t call it one that’s particularly well-done.

The one that is executed best is probably Valkyrie’s. She’s hiding from her past, clearly both traumatized and guilty over how the fight with Hela turned out. It’s strongly implied someone took a mortal wound for her (no clue how she got away herself), and she’s now got this despicable job where she’s miserable and drinking herself into a stupor. Thor himself showing up clearly affects her and makes her squirm, but it’s not until Loki forces her to relive that trauma that she has a full change of heart.

“Look, I’ve spent years in a haze, trying to forget my past. Sakaar seemed like the best place to drink and forget, and to die one day.

…But I don’t wanna forget. I can’t turn away anymore, so if I’m gonna die, well, it may as well be driving my sword through the heart of that murderous hag.”

This tracks just fine. Loki’s memory home video powers are convenient, but definitely within the framework, and it makes sense that thinking back to that could instill some sense of duty, or passion in her, especially given that Thor is literally trying to get back to Asgard to save it.

The only issue with this is that it’s completely disconnected from the thematic thrust. This was actually pointed out to me as an anonymous message on social media (I may have been ranting), but doesn’t her arc do the opposite of what this movie purports to do with Asgard and its legacy? She’s been a slaver for years, which isn’t even given the space to be hand-waved—it’s just not addressed. Then she gets all back in touch with being a Valkyrie, and re-donning that great Asgardian armor, and having a resurgence of love for her home where she can talk about how much she hates the prophecy about its destruction and everything.

This is fine in its own right, but didn’t we just find out Asgard has been an imperialist superpower? It’s good that someone with clear PTSD is trying to sort through her trauma and reclaim a sense of identity that she’s tried to dismiss for years, but it simply doesn’t fit with what we learned about Odin, which is what calls forth this entire conflict. If it were some more abstract external threat to Asgard, then sure a kind of “I’ll fight until it’s rubble” attitude would have some impact. But Asgard was built on a whole lot of blood and Odin was an active revisionist who covered up artwork depicting that. It’s an odd choice for her, let’s just leave it at that.

I’m trying to think if anyone else grew through the course of this movie. Heimdall stays as prescient and morally upright as ever. Bruce Banner gets de-Hulked, which is important to the MCU I’m sure, but it’s via a recording of someone not in this film, based on a relationship not in this film, so it’s kind of hard to argue there’s an arc here. It’s more that we learn how the Hulk is comfortable spending his free time. And truthfully without having seen Civil War, I can’t tell you whether his sacrificing of Banner to free the Hulk at the end was character growth, or just situational necessity again.

I guess Skurge has a character arc. He goes from being self-preservationist to finally hitting a breaking point with Hela and sacrificing himself for Asgard. Frankly he’s a delight any time he’s on the screen, so even though it’s admittedly thin and formulaic, I’ll give that all the points.

Really, what my main issue comes down to is that it’s blindingly obvious what character these stakes should have instilled growth in, and that’s Odin. Except he’s dead, so he never has to reconcile with anything. Hela has no relationship to Thor or Loki (she doesn’t even know about them), but she does to Odin, and frankly as the dude that imprisoned her, he’s kind of the one that should be going face-to-face in some capacity. What makes a family drama compelling is the fact that the family has a history together, after all.

Now, in Black Panther it was T’Chaka’s crappy decision that sort of “created” Killmonger, a decision that T’Challa hates and feels is wrong at his core, and cannot rest until it is righted. So it was the protagonist’s father’s actions that created the situation with a family member he didn’t know at all. It worked in that movie, so why not here?

Well, probably because Thor didn’t really react to learning that Odin had conquered the other realms. So it just made an already emptyish dynamic between Hela and Thor feel even weaker, since the one thin thread that connected them—Odin and their feelings about him—were only half-explored. Hela felt rejected by Odin and pissed off about that, while Thor felt…not as powerful as him? Happy to quote him?

Maybe I’d have fewer issues if Odin hadn’t just been like, “I’m in Norway now, so that means I’m dying. Bye and have fun with your sister you never knew about!” It’s just that his death was so unceremonious, that the mess of his damn making felt out of the blue and sort of incidental. Then, we cut back and forth from the Goddess of Death taking over Asgard to Thor trying to ignore how big the Hulk’s penis is. Seriously.

And that brings us to our final problem.

That’s not how jokes work

Humor is subjective. Napoleon Dynamite is so hideously unfunny to me that it used to make me angry.

I will say right now that I don’t know if it was the plane flight, I don’t know if it was my mood, or I don’t know if it’s the underlying type of comedy here, but I did not once crack a smile at Jeff Goldblum in this movie. I’ve liked him as a comedian before, and I’m sure I will again. I did not like him here.

I also did not enjoy Valkyrie’s played-for-laughs alcoholism. That trope is pretty grating to me at this point, and even though they kind of painted it as tragic, they also…didn’t. She was quirky and fun because she could down a bottle before Thor finished talking, and when Thor actually suggested drinking heavily might be bad for her, we were supposed to laugh at her telling him she wasn’t going to stop. It’s nothing against Tessa Thompson’s performance, who frankly stole every scene she was in. But that’s just how I reacted to the character.

I did massively like Taika Waititi as Korg, Karl Urban’s Skurge was wonderful (especially opposite to Kate Blanchett chewing the scenery), and there were times that Thor and the Hulk’s back and forths were amusing. So it’s not like I found nothing funny here. But to be sure, a lot of the comedic thrust didn’t land for me, and if it had, maybe I’d have a very different reaction to this film.

That said, the humor of this movie is really the best praise I hear about it. I’m just not entirely sure why that’s a good thing. I’m all for a boisterous, fun Thor romp, but if that’s what this was supposed to be, then why the hell even introduce Odin’s imperialism in it? Why have Thor’s best friends murdered here?

Levity can be powerful in dramas. There were jokes in Black Panther, not to beat this already dead horse, but it didn’t make for a full tonal clash. When M’Baku said his people are vegetarian, it was a great way to cut the tension of the moment and further characterize him. However, we never cut back and forth from Killmonger murdering Andy Serkis to T’Challa doing something ~wacky~. The more jovial scenes, like Shuri’s lab, were before the plot really picked up, and the humor that took place during serious scenes (the car chase, for instance) was sparing.

The stakes of Thor: Ragnarok are literally the destruction of the world. And also the destruction of Asgard’s connection to the other realms. The central conflict is born out of an imperfect, revisionist colonist ruler who is the protagonist’s dad. How are we supposed to be treating this with any kind of seriousness when the own narrative can’t even manage to give as much focus on Asgardians fleeing to their Helm’s Deep as it does to Thor’s haircut?

All the humor (or attempted humor in my case) managed to do was heavily undercut the dramatic tension. Even if I had been in stitches during Sakaar, it wouldn’t have helped me get more engaged with the central conflict. It just might have made my flight go faster. And if the central conflict was not as interesting to the writers as the jokes, then fine, maybe this isn’t the movie for that. But for god’s sake, don’t float that giant imperialism matzo ball if you’re not going to be able to actually do anything with it. Was it just there for color? Odin’s not perfect, ya know…now here’s the Hulk!

Stuff Happens, Don’t Question It!

It’s no secret if you’ve read any of my previous articles that I’m not the best at enjoying fun, colorful action sequences for the sake of fun, colorful action sequences. That is, unless I know it is pure silliness, like with Thor: Dark World. It’s ironic enjoyment, sure, but that doesn’t make it any less real. If I had gone in with that attitude for Thor: Ragnarok, I think I would have liked the ride.

But frankly, that’s not the attitude anyone seems to be holding about this movie. Maybe it was the counterweight to Civil War that the MCU needed, maybe if I had watched it before Black Panther I’d have a more favorable view…maybe it’s that elevated an experience in theaters. For me, I can only see two half-completed scripts stitched together, resulting in a whole that’s weaker than the sum of its parts. It’s fine to celebrate it as a joyous romp for those that felt joy and romped, but I can’t call it a good movie. A good viewing experience maybe, but not a good narrative.

In other words, it’s a Thor movie. Wow. I guess maybe my expectations had been too high.

Images courtesy of Marvel

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Fandom Meme Disease, and What Should We Do With It?




A fandom meme disease is this thing that happens when creators absorb fandom-born memes and integrate them into their work.

(And so, first things first: sorry that for the duration of this article I’ll use “meme” as if this were a legit term.  It is controversial to say the least, but it is shorter to say “meme” than “any idea, behavior, or style that spreads from person to person within a culture”.)

I’m not implying that the creators who do this are somehow bad, or that fandom is somehow bad. Moreover, I don’t believe that fandom-creator interaction is bad. What is bad, then? Let me explain how I see it.

Fandom Meme Creation

Any given fandom is, in my opinion, born when some people contact any given media and start using it as a source of inspiration. Not just a purely artistic inspiration; people may be inspired to write meta-analysis, or to engage in discussions, or to wage a flame war against opponents. All this is normal human reaction on something inspirational. Even flame wars are somewhat natural (still wicked, though; human nature can be wicked, too).

And while acting on their inspiration, people deconstruct the original source and use its metaphorical bricks to build their own work, be it a meta, a fic or an art. The result may be perfectly in line with the original, but usually it is not. It resembles the original, that’s true—but as it went through processing in one’s creative imagination it came out a bit different. Thus, fandom meme is born.

There are millions of those floating on the Internet’s vast expanses. Some of them are soon forgotten even by those who first gave life to them. Some are more resilient than others, so they spread and multiply their kind. Those memes become known as fanon. Other fandom memes stay in this gray area between a headcanon and “this weird idea I share with some friends”. Still, all those are memes.

But I digress.

 How The Internet Changed Things

Nowadays the creators have a unique opportunity to exchange views with the fandom. Not that it was not possible before; the letters existed, the fanmail was a really important thing, and the conventions started long before the advent of Internet, but still the scale was different.
What’s more important, the speed was different.
Back then the creator had to wait for quite a time to get a sufficient amount of feedback from, well, fandom. Now a minute past the release there is a ton of articles, metas, fanart, fanfiction—etc. There is fanart and fanfiction about characters who are announced only/had a brief screen moment in trailers or even teasers. There are metas about them, too!

And all this is actually great. But any great thing has a flip side.

In this case, it is this little fact that on average, an interested person is much more exposed to fandom memes than to canon memes. Because the original version is a meme, too—but a meme that is spread and multiplied on much lower rate than fandom memes are. And the thing with memes is, more exposure usually means more absorption.

The sad truth is, creators are interested persons, too.

When Creators Absorb Fandom Memes

Basically what happens is, being constantly exposed to very bustling fandom life, the creators not only have an influence on it, but are influenced by it. This influence may be different.

While there are certainly those who treat fandom memes as a discussion point only, they are not the only ones. Some creators consciously decide to follow a fanon as a means of pandering to their fandom. Other creators use their work to basically say “your fanon is wrong, don’t follow it”. And then there are some creators who genuinely absorb the meme and spread it in good faith. The latter thing is especially typical for multi-author franchises.

Thus it happens that when a next installment is out, it suffers from fandom meme disease.

What Is Not a Fandom Meme Disease?

  • FlanderizationIt shares one notable similarity with fandom meme disease—namely the fact that a character or event becomes increasingly simplified and defined by their/its most obvious trait, and it happens as the franchise or series progresses. But the difference is that the fandom has no part in this creative decision, just some lazy writing. FMD is not a sign of deterioration—it can happen with something that is otherwise pretty good and very much alive and thriving—while Flanderization is usually a red flag signalling that this media is dying.
  • Retcon. It is, again, very similar to FMD in effect (something or someone is no more the one it once was) and timing (also occurs with some new installment), but the key difference is, retcon acknowledges that something has in fact changed, it just asks us to pretend it hasn’t. FMD doesn’t acknowledge any change and acts as if things were always this way.
  • Any other case of real or perceived OOC. It can be a case of fandom meme disease only if the sudden shift in the original is consistent with the fanon or directly opposes it, but contradicts the earlier version.

Notable Victims

fandom meme disease

Not pictired: a badass warrior who overthrew a whole patriarchal system to learn how to fight

Yeah. I really hate what the otherwise pretty good Legend of Korra did with Katara. A decent half of her personality suddenly disappeared in the thin air, leaving us with the fanon Mommy Healer Katara whose only life goal is to care for her child-husband Aang and bear children for him. Sure, that was a widespread enough idea (and pretty sexist, too), but did the creators forget that they themselves wrote her as very proactive and never content with staying away from action?

Not pictured: a traumatised child-soldier, deeply anxious about her underperformance in all things “feminine”, haunted by things she had to do yet always caring and empathetic towards others

I had a tough time picking a poster person for the very…peculiar way in which Game of Thrones treats George R. R. Martin’s characters. The problem is, only some of them suffer from FMD; others are rewritten to fit into D&D’s own narrative.

The thing with Arya (and Sansa; and Sandor) is that sometimes it is not hard to point directly towards those fan discussions that were a basis for the creative decisions turning the original character into something very, very different.

If I could pick an event to illustrate the FMD…Game of Thrones would never disappoint! Do you remember that Robert’s Rebellion was built on lies? That’s the most blatant case of FMD I’ve ever met. It is ripped from fanfiction and wishful-thinking style metas and even the idea that Robert’s Rebellion is all about Rhaegar and Lyanna is pure fandom meme!

fandom meme disease

Not pictured: a tormented soul, devoid of all emotion due to being consumed by Dark Side, a sorry creature that is ever a puppet of his masters

See, this one is tricky. FMD mostly tortured Vader back in the old EU, but I think Kieron Gillen’s comics are not free from its fair share of Over Powerful Unstoppable Cool Awesome Guy Vader We All Adore. He has his good moments when he actually catches the other part of being a Sith, but mostly it is right here. This Vader is really cool, he is fun to watch, he is wisecracking, he is never truly challenged and never has to doubt himself. He beat the ancient dark Jedi without breaking a sweat, for good’s sake. That’s really too much.

The ultimate Manly Man of the franchise—though of course Rogue One gave us an even more blatant example of purest fanon possible on big screen.

And There Are More

I didn’t want to use Hermione Granger from Cursed Child because it may cause misunderstanding, but what about the movies? What about Princess Leia and her sorry fate throughout the old EU? What about loads of characters I don’t know, but you certainly do?

And what about sexism that is suspiciously ever present in any case of fandom meme disease?

Girls and women are pigeonholed by their tomboyish/feminine attitude, with tomboys stripped off all feminine traits, while girly girls devoid of all courage, right to be angry and right to be rational, as those things are associated with masculinity.

All the while “cool” male characters are carefully stripped off any sign of human nature, emotion or just simply weakness. Tell me it happens by pure chance.

So… What Can We Do?

We can talk about it. Raise awareness. Point out the bad tendency of sexist fanons to creep on big screen and on book and comic book pages.

If this exists, it can be beaten, after all.

Images courtesy of HBO, Viacom, Disney

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Keeping Kosher In Monster Hunter World





Monster Hunter World is the best selling game in its series, with over 7.5 million units shipped. There are many reasons for this: The game is more accessible for new players, it’s not just on a handheld console anymore, there was actually some marketing push for this game…the list goes on.

However, I personally think one of the reasons the game is so popular is its food eating cutscenes. Before you go on a hunt, you can eat a meal at a canteen that gives you buffs. You’re also treated to an adorable and very tasty looking cutscene of the Palicoes (a cat like race that helps you hunt monsters) making your meal. The details are so lavish and the end product looks so good I couldn’t help thinking about it off and on for weeks. And one question that kept recurring was, “Would any of this food be Kosher?”

Kosher foods, for those of you who may not know, are foods that conform to the Jewish kashrut (dietary law). The word treif describes any food that does not abide by this law. Determining what foods are Kosher or not can get complicated since different groups of animals have different rules. At its most basic though, there are three groups of animals: land, flying, and fish (invertebrates as a rule are treif). Conveniently enough, most monsters in Monster Hunter World could fit under the same categories. We’ll go through each category and examine a few monsters from the game to decide if any (or all) of them can be Kosher.

Before we begin though, I’d like to give major props to one of our editors, Gretchen. Before I wrote this article, I knew next to nothing about what makes a food Kosher or not. Gretchen not only educated me, but did a lot of the heavy lifting, and for that I am grateful.

By Land

The first monster up for discussion is called Uragaan. Uragaan lives mostly in volcanic regions and is identifiable its large chin, its shiny, lustrous golden hide, and the spikes along its back. It consumes mostly bedrock and those large spikes on its back are actually crystals. It produces a sticky, tar like substance on its stomach, which it uses to attach explosive rocks to itself as a means of defense. If someone were to knock down or kill Uragaan, they’d be able to mine the vast mineral wealth on it’s back…but they wouldn’t be able to eat it, as Uragaan isn’t Kosher.

Not Kosher

In order for a land animal to be Kosher, it has to meet three basic requirements. First, it can not be a carnivore or a scavenger. It can not eat meat. Second, it must have a split hoof. Horses aren’t Kosher, but animals like cattle and sheep are. Finally, the animal must chew its cud. Pigs have split hooves, but they don’t chew their cud and thus are not Kosher. Uragaan meets the first rule, but fails with the second and third. As such, Uragaan can never be Kosher.

The next monster up is Kirin. Kirin resembles a unicorn or (more accurately) a Chinese Qilin. It has a single large horn growing out of its head, with a white mane and tail that seem to stand on end from static electricity. It’s body appears to have fur, but those actually are scales. Kirin also seems to crackle with electricity as it walks. Looking at the picture we can see clearly that it has a split hoof. The game doesn’t tell us what it eats or if it chews its cud, but if we extrapolate what it looks like and compare to say, an antelope or a deer (both of which are Kosher) we can safely assume that Kirin is Kosher as well, right? Wrong.

Also Not Kosher

Kirin fails to be Kosher not by the quality of the animal, but by the quality of its behavior. You see, Kirin belongs to a group of monsters called Elder Dragons and these monsters, in addition to being tougher the ordinary monsters, are immune to traps and tranqs unlike other monsters. This presents a problem, as in order for meat be Kosher, the butchering must happen in one swift action using a sharp knife. Shooting the creature with an automatic repeating crossbow is not the way to do it. Kirin, unfortunately, is not Kosher for this reason.

We come now to the last land based monster in this article: The Kelbi. Kelbi, unlike the monsters mentioned thus far, are not aggressive. They are small, and the males are usually green in color while the females and juveniles are blue. Males also have large, prominent horns while female horns are smaller. In-game, Kelbi horns are medicinal, and players make potions out of them. I’m also happy to report that Kelbi might be our first (possibly) Kosher monster.

Kosher! (maybe)

Like Kirin, Kelbi has a split hoof. We also know that Kelbi are herbivores, but it is unknown whether or not Kelbi chew their cud. Extrapolating and comparing them to real world deer and goats though, we can have more confidence that Kelbi are, in fact, Kosher.

By Air

Now we will discuss birds. According to Jewish tradition, animals that fly and are not insects are birds. Thus animals such as bats are ‘birds’ in regards to Kosher rules. The rules for birds themselves are fairly simple. They can’t be predatory or scavengers. This rule immediately rules out the next monster on the list: Rathalos.

Not Kosher

Rathalos is known as the “King of the Sky” and is the male counterpart to Rathian, another flying monster.  Rathalos are bipedal wyverns, primarily red in color, with sharp, poisonous claws that they use to hunt with. In addition to that, they have a flame sac that they use to produce flaming projectiles from, and their long thick tail has a club at the end of it. But as I mentioned in the previous paragraph, no birds of prey can be Kosher.

The next monster on the list is one of the oddest in the game. Pukei-Pukei resembles at first glance a giant chameleon with frog like eyes, wings, and green scales covering its body everywhere except around its wings and neck, where it has feathers. The Pukei-Pukei is an herbivore and it will eat poisonous plants so it can produce a poison to defend itself. Despite all of these peculiar traits, Pukei-Pukei appears to be Kosher.

Kosher! (Surprisingly!)

I was surprised to hear Gretchen tell me this, as I thought there would be no way a monster as weird as Pukei-Pukei could be considered Kosher. But as she laid the case out it began to make more sense. Despite some reptilian traits, Pukei-Pukei has more avian traits, and that classifies it as a creature of the air under the kashrut. As a creature of the air, it has to meat a few specifications. It does not scavenge like a vulture, nor does it hunt like a bird of prey. Thus, Pukei-Pukei meets the requirements.

And By Sea

There aren’t very many sea monsters in Monster Hunter World sadly. Only one of them really seems like it would count. And this one is Jyuratodus. Jyuratodus resembles nothing more than a bipedal coelacanth fish. It has two dorsal fins, two pectoral fins, two pelvic fins, and a long, thick tail that it can use to defend itself. It also covers itself in mud and other ooze, to act as another layer of defense and to possibly keep its gills and scales damp. Fortunately for us, practically the only water based monster in this game is also Kosher.

Kosher, and think of all the sushi.

For a sea animal to be considered Kosher, it must have fins and scales that can be removed. This generally means that the stereotypical fish is allowed, but not animals such as eel, lobster, squid or crab. Jyuratodus, despite its size and aggression does have fins and scales and would be Kosher.

The Hunt Goes On…

So what are we left with from this list? Two monsters that could be considered Kosher, three that are not, and one that might be, if it chews cud. And this is only a small sample of the monsters in the game. Not only that, but Capcom has plans to release more monsters as free DLC over the upcoming months. When the PC version of the game is out, I might revisit this article and expand on it. Until then though, happy hunting and bon appétit!

Images Courtesy of Capcom

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