Sunday, June 23, 2024

The Golden Raspberry Also Hangs Lowest

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The Golden Raspberry Awards are a time for the smarmy know-it-alls of Hollywood to gather together and mock the…less well produced films of the past year. Generally a direct parody of The Oscars, the “winners” at the Razzies tend to be the films that have caused the most pain in theaters and suffered the worst at the hands of critics. However, the Razzies have a notoriously shallow selection pool, choosing to take the piss out of blockbusters while ignoring the numerous terrible lower-budget films that spew into Hollywood each year. Rather than a sort of celebration of the terrible, The Razzies often come across more as a way to mock the “cool kids” of Hollywood. If anything, its a big attempt to hang a “No Fun Allowed” sign on the door of Hollywood, but they picked a door nobody uses and probably have forgotten about.

Unlike the Critic’s Choice Awards, which requires a voter to write for a major publication, or the SAG’s, where membership requires actually BEING in movies, membership on the Golden Raspberry Voting Committee requires only the princely sum of $40. So next year, you too, could weigh in the treasured title of “Worst Picture.”

The nominees are below, via Variety:

Worst picture
The Emoji Movie
Fifty Shades Darker
The Mummy
Transformers: The Last Knight

Worst actress
Katherine Heigl (Unforgettable)
Dakota Johnson (Fifty Shades Darker)
Jennifer Lawrence (Mother!)
Tyler Perry (Boo! 2: A Madea Halloween)
Emma Watson (The Circle)

Worst actor
Tom Cruise (The Mummy)
Johnny Depp (Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales)
Jamie Dornan (Fifty Shades Darker)
Zac Efron (Baywatch)
Mark Wahlberg (Daddy’s Home 2 and Transformers: The Last Knight)

Worst supporting actor
Javier Bardem (Mother! and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales)
Russell Crowe (The Mummy)
Josh Duhamel (Transformers: The Last Knight)
Mel Gibson (Daddy’s Home 2)
Anthony Hopkins (Collide and Transformers: The Last Knight)

Worst supporting actress
Kim Basinger (Fifty Shades Darker)
Sofia Boutella (The Mummy)
Laura Haddock (Transformers: The Last Knight)
Goldie Hawn (Snatched)
Susan Sarandon (A Bad Moms Christmas)

Worst screen combo
Any Combination of Two Characters, Two Sex Toys, or Two Sexual Positions – Fifty Shades Darker
Any Combination of Two Humans, Two Robots, or Two Explosions – Transformers: The Last Knight
Any Two Obnoxious Emojis – The Emoji Movie
Johnny Depp and His Worn-Out Drunk Routine – Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Careers Tell No Tales
Tyler Perry and Either the Ratty Old Dress or Worn-Out Wig – Boo! 2: A Madea Halloween

Worst remake, rip-off, or sequel
Boo! 2: A Madea Halloween Fifty Shades Darker The Mummy Transformers: The Last Knight

Worst director
Darren Aronofsky (Mother!)
Michael Bay (Transformers: The Last Knight)
James Foley (Fifty Shades Darker)
Alex Kurtzman (The Mummy)
Anthony (Tony) Leonidis (The Emoji Movie)

Worst screenplay__
The Emoji Movie
Fifty Shades Darker
The Mummy
Transformers: The Last Knight

The most “successful” nominee this year is no doubt perennial punching bag Michael Bay and his latest addition to his Transformers franchise: The Last Knight. No doubt it’s a favorite to win many of its 9 nominations, as voters won’t be able to resist a chance to mock the winning combination of giant robots, King Arthur, and Marky Mark. The Emoji Movie, a film that managed the difficult feat of wasting Sir Patrick Stewart, is continuing a year of terrible firsts as it becomes the first animated film to be nominated for Worst Picture and Worst Director. It is only the second to be nominated in Worst Screenplay, the first being The Hunchback of Notre Dame in 1997. Which gives you an idea of the stringent and discerning tastes that vote on the Razzies.

Obvious nominees like The Mummy, The Emoji Movie, and Fifty Shades Darker, are joined by slightly more effortful, but still terrible, movies like Mother! and The Circle.

The Worst Actress Award is perhaps the most interesting. The Razzies seem to take a sadistic glee in giving Oscar winners a Razzie, and winners of both Sandra Bullock and Halle Berry have appeared in person to win their not-award. Will Oscar-winner Jennifer Lawrence, nominated for a rather noisy turn in Mother!, show up in kind?

There are some notable “snubs” from the Razzies, including the Book Of Henry, which helped get J.J Abrams back on Star Wars Episode IX (good job Colin!) and The Snowman, a film so complicated and weird that even the director admitted it makes no sense.

There will be no predictions made here, as you simply have to think of which nominee will get the biggest headline and that will be the one taking home the gold spray paint encrusted fruit.

You can’t watch the Razzies anywhere, but they will be announced on March 3rd. I’ll be busy watching some of the GOOD films that will be up for nomination at the Oscars, as well as Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri.

Image Courtesy The Golden Raspberry Foundation

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