To Captain Cinrak, known as The Dapper,
I have no doubt you have heard of me, as my reputation extends from one corner of the sea to the next. But I have only recently heard of you, my dear, and it is a shame that it has taken so long.
My courtiers tell me many tales of your exploits as a pirate, of how you ride falling stars and great glass whales. Your reputation precedes you among the women in my court as well, for it is rare to see a lesbian capybara at the helm of a ship. Is it true you have a fondness for queens?
I’ve been acquired a book filled with further tales of your adventures, by an A.J Fitzwater, and I’ve enjoyed reading it each night over a glass of wine. Here is the cover:
I invite you and your entire crew, Agnes included, to my kingdom for a feast and many drinks. I offer you a Letter of Marque, to loot the treasures of that isolationist harpy up in the North, Lady Sandra Dark, in my name and spread the power of Queen Carol ever further.
I hope this arrangement will be satisfactory to you.
Kisses,
Queen Carol of the Seven Fandoms, the Dorne Stans, the Bay of Book Snobs and the Salty Fans
Lord of Feminist Show Analysis and Protector of the Anti-GoT Critics
Image via Queen of Swords Press