Listen, I do my best to watch T.V. like a normal person… It’s just I can’t, I can’t do it. I always end up thinking of weird things when I watch movies or television shows, and then they get stuck in my head forever.
One of these ideas that I often find myself pondering, is whether or not I’d like to work at any of the places depicted in whatever it is that I’m watching. (Normally the answer is a resounding “NO!” by the way. ) Anyway, since we all seem to have a penchant for the odder things here at The Fandomentals, I figured you’d appreciate this sentiment, and would want to know which places to avoid or seek out if you ever found yourself living in a fictional universe.
5. Dunder Mifflin-Scranton: The Office
I wasn’t quite sure whether to list this as one of the five best places to work, or the worst. Eventually, I settled on listing this as the fifth best place to work. If I was considering the entire Dunder Mifflin company, this would certainly be one of the worst places to work. The corporate branch is a mess, and somehow Michael Scott runs the best branch of a company, that’s insane.
However that said, I would for sure love working for Michael Scott, sure he’s an over-emotional, possibly idiotic, irresponsible, and that weird combination of insecure and arrogant, BUT, he cares so much about his employees, and is hilarious.
4. Stark Industries: Post-Iron Man
So before the events of 2008’s Iron Man, Stark Industries was more or less exclusively a weapons company. Sure they had other projects, most notably the arc reactor, but weapons were the main thing they had going on. After Tony realizes that his weapons with all their devastating capabilities are being used by evil people for evil purposes, he shuts that wing down and transitions the company towards sustainable energy.
Working for IRON MAN (!), to save the world from fossil fuels would be an incredible job. (I know that Pepper Potts is CEO of Stark Industries, and she seems to be killing it, but in terms of lay people, that’s what it would seem like you know?)
Also I LOVE Iron Man, my laptop even has a Stark Industries sticker on it, and I’m wearing my Stark Industries t-shirt while writing this, so I admit that I might be a smidge biased. Though even I still thought of three places that’d be better to work.
3. The Santa Barbara Police Department: Psych
Psych is a modern day take on Sherlock Holmes that ended in 2o14, and is very near and dear to my heart. The show follows the adventures of fake Psychic Detective Shawn Spencer, and his partner Burton Guster, as they solve crimes, usually at the behest of the Santa Barbara Police Department. Generally, Shawn and Gus run afoul of the head Detective of the SBPD Carlton Lassiter, and his partner Juliet O’Hara (Shawn’s love interest), so it would seem as though it would suck to work for a police department that is constantly being beaten by a man-child “psychic”, right?
If I’m anyone besides the Head Detective, my life just got 10000000x easier than it was before. Seriously, I have the same job and pay that I had before, but now someone else is doing all the actual work for me.
2. Buffalo Wild Wings: Buffalo Wild Wings Commercials
The Buffalo Wild Wings from the commercials seems to be a tremendous place. Everyone’s having the time of their lives, and sports are playing 24/7. What’s more is that somehow, the bartenders in this universe have the power to influence the outcomes of real life sports games, as they happen.
If you’re in any way a sports fan, I’m sure you’ve prayed to that appropriate sport’s gods. In these commercials, the employees of Buffalo Wild Wings are those gods. Do you want to be a god? I know for sure, 1000% that I do.
1. Wherever Blake Works: Glengarry Glenn Ross
Glengarry Glenn Ross is a movie about a group of salesmen who are faced with the threat of losing their jobs if they are the lowest performing seller at the end of the month, which is one week away. The four salesmen the movie centers around yearn for the “Glengarry leads” , which will help them outperform the others, and avoid being fired. As a result of their mostly tepid (at best) sales performance for the month, their bosses Mitch and Murray ask Blake, the salesmen of another real estate agency to give a rousing speech to rally their salesmen.
Now, Blake berates, belittles, and utterly humiliates the three salesmen present during his speech, but to me, something else became evident as well.
Wherever Blake works is an awesome place to work. He gets to choose his own name (FUCK YOU), he makes a ton of money ($970,00 dollars last year), and he’s so confident in his position at this place, and in this place’s success, that he agrees to motivate another companies real estate agents, his literal rivals, sell more property.
Just missing the cut- Stratton Oakmont: The Wolf of Wallstreet, and The FBI: White Collar
5. State Farm State Farm Commercials
Imagine you’re sitting in an office wearing your khakis and red polo shirt, working hard on insurance, making sure people have the best policies for them. You take a sip out of your water bottle (there’s lemonade in it) and close your eyes, thinking about your plans for the weekend.
Next thing you know you’re in a house that is on fire, because some guy you barely know has Fire Insurance on his home, and you have the misfortune of being his agent. That’s horrible, and even if it’s some less extreme insurance issue, you’re literally getting teleported to some random place because someone you happen to represent has an insurance issue.
What if the teleportation doesn’t work and you lose a limb? What if they leave after you help them and can’t teleport back to your office? Also, you’re an insurance agent, not a firefighter, why would they summon you into the middle of their burning home instead of calling 911?
4. The Death Star: Star Wars
A few different types of people work on the Death Star. There are engineers, Sith Lords, Storm Troopers, pilots, and naval commandeers, just to name a few. But here’s the thing…all of them are evil. Here’s another thing…you live there. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want to work, let alone live, in a place where everyone is evil, and that would mean that I’m evil too right? Not ideal.
Plus, your boss literally chokes people with magic for the slightest bit of sass, and these crazy zealots are constantly trying to blow it up!
3. The Massachusetts State Police Department The Departed
The casualty rate for the MSPD in The Departed is astronomical, it’s seriously horrible, and that’s not even the worst part about the job. At least two of the highest ranking members of the Anti-Organized Crime task force were working for the worst mobster in Boston, and their superiors had no idea.
This place is rife with incompetence, there’s a good chance you’ll be killed on the job, and the people are pretty nasty to one another, please do the opposite of sign me up for that.
2. S.H.I.E.L.D Marvel Cinematic Universe and Agent’s of S.H.I.E.L.D
S.H.I.E.L.D is a well meaning organization in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, they want to protect the Earth from any threats that regular agencies can’t address (like aliens and super heroes and villains). Despite this, they often overstep their bounds, compromise the security of their employees, jeopardize the safety of the world, and lie to some of their most important members (and the world at large).
There’s something else bugging me about them too… hmm, what could that be? OH YEAH! Literally half of their employees are members of the EVIL, Nazi death-cult HYDRA. Which is an evil organization hellbent on ruling the world, and not some cute marketing gimmick.
1. Grey-Sloane Memorial Hospital/Seattle Grace Grey’s Anatomy
So I absolutely hate Grey’s Anatomy; I cannot stand the show at all, but I have seen like 75% of it’s episodes because my girlfriend got hooked on it, and I legitimately could not look away from it when it was on. From what I’ve gathered, the Grey-Sloane Memorial Hospital (or Seattle Grace as it was previously known) would be a dreadful place to work.
There is nonstop drama in the personal lives of the doctors, which spills all over their professional lives. There was a literal bomb that exploded in the hospital, a shooter who killed and wounded dozens of people, and a plane crash (which wasn’t in the hospital but took out all their most important surgeons). On top of all this, the staff is horribly mean to one another, very catty, and rude. Seriously, don’t work there.
Just missing the cut: The White House: Scandal, and Xavier’s Home for Gifted Youngsters: X Men.
What do you think of this list? Where do you want to work?