Sunday, May 26, 2024

Unicorns and Virgins and Legends! Oh My!

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When there’s a British warlock traipsing about in Woodstock, 1969, glitter goo that gets people high, and a murderous unicorn with a taste for human hearts on the loose that can only mean one thing. Legends of Tomorrow is back baby! And it’s as campy and heartfelt as you remember it. They may be a couple weeks behind the other DCTV shows, but they came out of the gate swinging to make up for lost time.

Everyone’s favorite band of time traveling misfits are back to repair history. In the five months since we’ve last seen them, the Legends have rounded up most of the anachronisms. The premiere opens on them rounding up the last one: Paul Revere showing up at the British Invasion, the musical one kicked off by the Beatles.

With the last anachronism fixed, the Legends are lauded as heroes and treated to a party courtesy of the Time Bureau. But because it’s Legends it’s only a matter of time before something new is going wrong. A ‘burp’ in the timeline sends the team to Woodstock, 1969 where they discover the source of the anomaly. A unicorn. Everyone except Sara is excited that they’re finally getting the magical creatures that Constantine promised. That is until they realize this unicorn has a tendency to gore people through the chest and douse them in hallucinogenic glitter goo. It’s both wondrous and horrific.

Moments before disaster.

While Sara goes to find Constantine, the team gets hit with the effects of the Unicorn’s ‘sparkle sauce’. Mick sees his dead pet rat, Nate sees his dad, Ray mistakes a tree for Nora Darhk, and Zari sees love wherever she looks. It is amazing and yet somehow not the best part of the episode involving drugs. That honor goes to Nate stealing a joint from Jerry Garcia.

Once they come down from their unicorn high, the Legends help Constantine gather all the ingredients he needs to banish the unicorn. Naturally, this involves some petty theft, including the aforementioned joint stealing. They’re able to collect all the components for the spell at Woodstock, except for one. The final thing needed is a virgin and Constantine just so happens to know one. So, none other than Gary Green is offering himself up as shirtless unicorn bait. John sends the murderous steed to hell, but not before it can relieve Gary of one of his nipples.

With the reality they’ll have to face the magical monsters they let out into the world, Sara tries to get Constantine to join the Waverider. He’s not having it, as he’s too haunted by the darkness of his life to join a team.

Even with unicorn shenanigans, this episode didn’t forget to spend some time with its characters. Zari figures out Ray was the one who gave Nora Darhk the time stone she used to escape. Despite her own cynicism about trusting Nora, she knows Ray’s heart is always in the right place. He confides in her throughout the episode about Nora and his hope that she can turn over a new leaf. By the end, Zari’s confiding him about her regrets for not being able to help her family.

Nate gets his fair share of emotional baggage out in the open this episode when he and Mick ‘break into’ Nate’s home, meeting his parents. Nate and his dad, Hank, have an obviously strained relationship. The episode doesn’t do much more than establish their relationship. There’s no doubt we’ll be seeing more of Hank soon with his ‘exciting new job at the Pentagon’ (See: actually at the Time Bureau).

Meanwhile, Sara and Ava’s relationship has continued to grow and they’re both in a good place. So good, in fact, that Ava asks Sara to move in. I’d make a U-Haul joke here, but Ava already did it for me. Sara may not tell Ava right away about the magical creatures the Legends released onto the timeline, but only because for the first time she doesn’t feel like a screw-up. She just wants her girlfriend to think of her as the hero who saved time, not the person who messed it up. By the end of the episode, Sara comes clean.

Ava already knew, thanks to Gary being proud about losing a nipple. She doesn’t care there are new threats to the timeline. She’s still proud of Sara and wants to support her, both in their relationship and at their jobs. Even if means they won’t be hitching that U-Haul to the Subaru just yet.


The new season of Legends kicks off with the promise of a lot of fun and a lot of heart. Coming off an amazing season three, Legends of Tomorrow is only doubling down on the zany elements that made the last season shine. After a blue Furby/Tickle-Me Elmo hybrid became the star of the season, it’s clear there’s no such thing as ‘too much’ where Legends is concerned. Taking on magical creatures feels like the next logical step for our motley time travelers. Adding some quirky traits to well-known creatures is the perfect Legends twist. Where else but Legends would you see a unicorn that produces sparkles when it murders and can make people high?

Speaking of Legends twists, between Constantine joining the ranks and a later time slot, this season seems to be unafraid to tread into some darker waters. With the unicorn and Constantine’s invisible demon from the end of the episode, Legends is visually more gruesome than before. Even when Ray had his heart ripped out, it was the visceral image of a hippy getting stabbed through the chest. So far, the gruesomeness is working while keeping the same fun tone Legends has come to be known for.

With Constantine officially joining the ranks as series regular this season, he’s already getting to dig a deeper story than before. Whatever demons, literal or figurative, pushed him even further into the darkness, they won’t keep him there if the Legends have anything to say about it.

His interactions with Sara were fascinating to see. They’re both so similar, having experienced so much darkness and death in their lives. The difference between them is Sara has learned to open herself to love, with her team and with Ava. Constantine is still convinced that can only bring more pain. It will be interesting to see if the Legends can change his mind about that as he spends more time with them.

Since we’re on the topic of Sara opening herself to love, it is truly a breath of fresh air to see her fully embracing her relationship with Ava. So many times in the past—with her family, with Nyssa, with Oliver and once before with Ava—she pushed them all away because she felt like she would only hurt them. After everything she’s been through, she deserves to let herself be happy.

It’s also amazing refreshing to see a romantic relationship handled this well, especially a relationship between two women. There was no petty jealousy fight when Ava found Constantine in her apartment. They had a frank and open discussion about Sara staying with the Legends after Ava asked her to move in. They both expressed the desire for their relationship to evolve. Plus, I don’t remember the last time I saw a queer couple have this much domesticity.

I can’t wait to see where this season takes all the Legends.

Only Legends could…

  • Mom Sara getting mad at her kids team when she thinks one of them spilled the beans about the dragon to Ava.
  • Ray and Nate are bronies and I’m not sure how to react to that. But they are both earnest enough to watch a show where the tagline is ‘friendship is magic’.
  • This is the only show that could make stealing weed from Jerry Garcia a plot point that doesn’t feel completely ridiculous.
  • “The unicorn bit my nipple off” wins best line of the episode.

Images courtesy of the CW.

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