Friday, April 19, 2024

Fuller House Promises More of the Same to Close Season 3

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Ahh the holiday season. A time of gifts, fanart featuring Santa-hatted characters, and in the case of the Fuller House “3B” trailer, that one soggy latke that you know is going to give you heartburn, but it’s the last one left on the baking sheet so what are you going to do…throw out just one latke? Might as well pretend the paper towel you just used on it totally blotted all that oil out.

What am I talking about again? Right. If you want to throw your own disappointing Hanukkah party, I recommend the second half of Fuller House season 3. Actually, I don’t, because according to this trailer, the demon reboot of Netflix graces us with its presence again on December 22nd—3 days after the 8th night.

Look. I know deep down in my heart of hearts, there’s plenty of reason to enjoy Fuller House. Like…hugs and cute kids with dogs and original dance numbers. Which apparently is what the Netflix marketing team views as its greatest selling points based on this trailer. But sure, it’s cheap, child-safe entertainment that’s perfectly harmless (except the way it leads the charge towards a blindly accepted cultural passivity that brings down all we hold dear).

However, can you at least agree that this is just so fundamentally lazy? Fuller House trained manatees writers really are the most fond of the balls that read “DJ love triangle,” “Jokes about Fernando’s accent”, and “Uncle Jesse is OLD“. The only semblance of something new is Stephanie still pursuing a biological child, supposedly with Kimmy’s help as her surrogate, which I’m sure will be handled about as delicately as her decision to do so in the first place.

Oh but good, the Fullers get another country to frolic in for a bit first!

If you liked what Fuller House offered before, I’m sure you’ll like this. If you’re just fascinated by the idea of figuring out how many times a formula truly can be repeated though…well, I’ll be there with you. Pass the applesauce.


Images courtesy of Netflix

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