Monday, April 15, 2024

No One on Couple-ish is Happy Except Cal and Her Cactus

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If there is one lesson we might take from Couple-ish so far, it’s don’t believe everything you see on Youtube. Although Amy, Jaime, Rachel, and Dee might be putting up (mostly) cheery relationship videos for their followers, there’s a lot more going on behind the scenes and no one is really all that happy. And like, damn. Rachel. Is. Bitter.

After seeing Amy and Jaime’s couple video, Rachel (Sharon Belle) decided to throw shade in the most passive-aggressive way possible by sitting down with Dee (Kaitlyn Alexander)  and making their own couple response video to welcome Amy (Mercedes Morris) and Jaime (Diana Chrisman) to the internet for Episode 4. It was hella awkward and for some reason, Dee just totally rolled with it despite Rachel being very much over the top without any foreseeable motivation. After all, until this point, we’ve been assuming that Rachel broke Amy’s heart and has been happily settling down with Dee. But wait, ha. I forgot, this is Couple-ish and NOTHING IS EVER SIMPLE.

Sharon Belle and Kaitlyn Alexander in Couple-ish
*sips tea*

So then why is Rachel so bitter? Couple-ish is certainly making its audience work hard to try and figure out this conundrum of a relationship conglomeration.

Episode 5 sees us back in the flower shop with Rachel and Cal (Premika Leo). Cal is a ray of philosophical sunshine in this otherwise dark and brooding episode. The clouds roll in with the arrival of Amy, here to buy a bouquet for her bae. She had no idea that Rachel was working here and so their meeting after not seeing each other in several months is nothing short of awkward. A few confusing, potentially enlightening things are said. Amy reminds Rachel that the two of them were “never exclusive”. Rachel asks Amy if she’s happy with Jaime. Amy snaps back with, “Are you happy at all?” The tension is sharp, y’all. Cal brings out a cactus to amend the decor.

Mercedes Morris in Couple-ish
What. A. Look.

Further proving herself to be an incredible person, Cal reveals she has a stash of whiskey in the back to ease said tension after Amy leaves with her flowers. They drink and debrief, slowing the pace down enough for the viewer to start mentally catching up on where this show is going.

Honestly, answering the question What’s Going On Between Amy, Rachel and Dee is a harder question to answer than Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego. We have an angry Rachel, an angry Amy, and as far as we can tell, a chill Dee. This seems like an impossible equation, quite honestly.

But on that note, why are Rachel and Dee supposedly getting married??? This just seems like yet another Bad Idea on the list of Questionable Decisions these characters continue to make. How long is this fooling the government thing going to go on?? Can’t they just be engaged, do they really have to take it the whole way? We must surely be able to assume at this point that Dee and Rachel don’t have Actual Real Feelings for each other, else why would Dee put up with the way that Rachel is clearly entirely distracted by whatever happened between her and Amy? And if that is the case how did they get from That Kiss at the end of the last season to where they are now?? They seem like a real couple but everything else is telling me it’s not. I don’t know what is real.

Premika Leo in Couple-ish
“Now this really sets the mood.”

All I know for sure is that we desperately need Dee’s point of view on this. Our hero has been starkly absent from most of the show so far and that absence is starting to take a real toll. I need to know where Dee stands in regards to all of this and what they want and who they’re into. Rachel is interesting but please, Couple-ish, bring Dee back to the forefront of the story—we need them.

If y’all have got theories on the plot that are better than my confused ramblings, share ’em in the comments and get us through the wait for the next episode.

Images courtesy of Couple-ish

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