Thursday, June 20, 2024

An Evil Nipple Heralds the Final Fight with Neron for Legends

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After taking over puppy-in-human-form Ray, Neron transports himself and Constantine to the Ice Age. He’s kept Constantine alive because he needs him to open a portal to hell. The portal is for Tabitha, his mysterious lady friend to come through. But first Neron threatens to kill Ray, forcing Constantine’s hand to use magic when the demon holds a knife to his own throat.

The Legends, tracking Constantine’s magic, appear right in front of them. Constantine asks the team to kill Neron while they have the chance, even if it means killing him as well. Most of the team hesitates at the idea, after all, killing Neron means killing Ray.

Sara hesitates to make the call, so Mick makes it instead. The Waverider fires on Neron and Constantine, but Neron teleports them out before they’re injured. The blast causes an avalanche, leaving the ship stuck under tons of snow and ice.

Nora’s first day on the job is off to a similar start as she experiences one of the greatest fears of anyone’s life: taking a bad ID photo. The pile of starting paperwork only makes things worse. She wants to be out looking for Ray, not filling out forms. Ava gently reminds her that her history with Bureau is a tumultuous one. If she’s going to be a part of the team, she has to do things right.

In Ava’s office, Gary is waiting for her. He ominously says they need to talk and the next time we see Ava she’s announcing Gary will be conducting performance reviews for the Bureau. If that isn’t strange enough, when Mona asks if they should be conducting performance reviews with a demon on the loose Ava’s response is ‘Gary Green is all the man we need’. That raises a red flag, with Mona believing Ava has been replaced with a clone. She goes to Nora and the duo split up to investigate with Nora tailing Gary and Mona trying to contact the Legends. Her message doesn’t go through and she runs into more agents who are of the opinion that Gary Green is all the man they need.

Meanwhile, the Legends being trapped under an avalanche has left the team with a damaged ship and limited power. Sara shuts down the non-essential systems to conserve power. The team is a little on edge, especially Mick and Sara. The two are at each other’s throats, Sara blaming Mick for falling for Neron’s trap and for not being on the ship when Ray was possessed. Mick argues back he can have a life outside of the ship just as much she can with Ava.

Elsewhere on the ship, Zari and Nate are keeping their dragon egg warm with their body heat. This leads into them hooking up because of course it does. Charlie, pretending to be Mick, tries to apologize to Sara but the real Mick walks in. It’s still enough to nudge them in the right direction for reconciliation. Sara and Mick search Ray’s quarters together, knowing if anyone has written down a plan to get them out of this, it would be Raymond Palmer.

While searching the room, they have a nostalgic conversation about the Legends and how much they’ve changed, both as a team and as individuals. They’re the only one of the original team left and that’s not nothing. They apologize, happy the other has something that makes them happy. Sure enough, among Ray’s things they find a survival guide where he has what do in this exact scenario. Unfortunately, they’ve already tried it all. All but one. So with things looking hopeless, Sara orders all the ship systems be restored. If this is the end for them, they’ll take Ray’s advice to enjoy their time together with warmth, surgery food, and Cards to Save the Timeline. Their frivolous use of energy melts the snow around the ship. In a classic Legends move they screwed things up for the better, escaping the avalanche.

Back at the Time Bureau, Mona and Nora reconvene with a plan to trap Gary. Except Nora traps Mona instead, spouting the newest Gary Green slogan. Alone and trap, Mona panics, until her wolf side comes out and tells her she’s not alone. When she’s taken to Gary for her ‘performance review’ she learns how he turned the entire Bureau.

It was with his nipple. His nipple from hell which now has an eyeball in it. Mona turns into Wolfie to not get hypnotized and attacks Gary. Nora and Ava come to his defense, but Wolfie knocks them back to their senses. They realize Gary hypnotized them, or as Ava so eloquently puts it, ‘nipnotized’.

In another part of the timeline, Neron takes Constantine to a Celtic village where Constantine’s ancestor is going to send a magical creature to hell. The creature, a Puca, is anything but evil. It reflects the emotions of whoever it’s around. When faced with a village filled with fear and anger, it answers in kind. Constantine’s ancestor uses the village’s fear to fuel his magic, which is what Neron wants Constantine to do in order to stabilize a portal, allowing Tabitha to pass through.

Constantine tries to tell his ancestor the Puca means no harm. This ends with him in chains, being prepared to be sent to hell alongside the Puca. Neron reminds Constantine she could easily face himself if he stabilizes the portal. Constantine would rather go to hell than give Neron what he wants. But that would mean the Puca also going to hell. Constantine seems resigned to let this happen. Neron taunts him with all the good souls who ended up in hell because of Constantine, Ray, Astra, and even Tabitha.

When Constantine’s ancestor opens the portal, Constantine gives in, stabilizing it to save the Puca. He frees the creature and cuts off the hand of his ancestor. He’s about to kill Neron when the Waverider appears above them. The team asks him not to kill Neron. If there’s a chance to save Ray they’ll find it. Inspired by saving the Puca and his teammates, Constantine takes a leap of faith to save Ray. He goes into the portal, into hell, to find Ray’s soul.

Neron uses the portal to summon Tabitha and we finally learn who she is: the Fairy Godmother. Yes, the same Fairy Godmother who sang of murder and became Mick Rory’s criminal partner in an alternate timeline. Neron kisses her, and with him in Ray’s face, it manages to be the most traumatizing thing in an episode with an eyeball nipple.

Speaking of the eyeball nipple, Gary’s nipnotizing days seem numbered when Wolfie goes after him. Pinning Gary down, she tries to bite it off. Neron and Tabitha time travel to him, saving him by forcing Mona back to her normal self. She still chases them. Nora and Ava spilt up, Nora going after Mona and Ava going to Legends to inform them of everything that’s happened.

In Hell, Constantine appropriately falls into a dumpster before beginning his search for Ray.


If you stick the Legends together and force them to talk, good things are going to happen. Sara and Mick reminiscing was a nice call back to how far they’ve come. They aren’t the same people who stood on that rooftop. They’ve changed. The people around them have changed. It was a nice acknowledgement of how far Legends has come.

Of course, Ray would be the one to spawn their self-reflection. Ray’s earnest nature has influenced everyone on the team at one point or another. Here it spurs the team to do what Legends do best—love and support each other while also stumbling sideways into a solution.

Even Constantine, who wasn’t with the rest of the team, got to show off that trademark Legends belief in each other. It’s no accident that when faced with a creature that reflects one’s emotions that creature choose to heal him. Him choosing to go to hell and going after Ray was Constantine choosing to look beyond the things he believed to be true, that sacrificing one good soul is worth it for the greater good. He’s always seen himself as a damned person and as the sole barrier between the darkness of the magical world and the rest of the mortal world. Now he’s risking not only Neron winning but every other demon and creature out there roaming free if he can’t get back. And he’s doing it to save one good soul.

Only Legends Could

  • This episode was filled with Star Wars references, from Sara’s ‘It’s a trap!’ to the ‘Never tell me the odds.’
  • Nora psyching herself up before her ID photo was very relatable.
  • Who took that picture of the OG Legends in the Old West and how did Ray get it?
  • Again, who do I need to talk to about Cards to Save the Timeline becoming a real thing?
  • I never knew a nipple could be threatening until one crawled across the floor and had an eyeball in it.
  • Hell looks suspiciously like future Star City with a different light filter.
  • Best line of the episode goes to, “Gary took over the Bureau. He nipnotized everyone.” The fact that nipnotize is a thing at all is amazing.

Images courtesy of the CW.

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