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People Sit Down on New GoT Teaser Trailer

Game of Thrones may not be coming back until July, but the hype train is already out of the station.

Are you sitting down? Oh har har, I’m almost as clever as HBO’s marketing team.

First the good: that throne Deadpan (or Daenerys, whoever…) is sitting on looks kind of rad. And she’s finally wearing some Targaryen colours. I’m a little sad that Jonny Cardboard doesn’t get a throne at all and just has to sit at a table in a dinky little feast hall. Maybe he’s sad too and it reminds him of his horrible bastard days. And Cheryl’s (Cersei’s) newly installed Lannister windows. She knows how to get things done.

Other than that, there’s only the tiniest bit of actual information we can glean here. The main factions in the “game” will be Jon in the North, Cheryl in King’s Landing, and Deadpan coming from beyond the sea. She’ll be hanging out in that place where the pickled fetuses used to be. That’s no surprise, but you have to wonder how all the complicating elements, most notably the Iron Born with their new king, will play into it. Does Euron never sit down because he’s so badass? Or because the Salt Throne dissolved from all the book snob tears? Poor Princess Faullaria didn’t get a badass walk either, though thanks to her amazing politicking and tiny bell, we know she’s signed up for Team Deadpan.

I suppose we must assume that these main three factions will be opposed to each other. There’s nothing to suggest otherwise, and that’s how it usually works in monarchies. Of course, smallfolk usually care about their religions institutions being blown up, so remind me why I’m trying to apply logic here, again?

The ending also suggests that, with winter finally here (I guess…it seemed pretty balmy at the end of season 6 everywhere but in the far north) the Big Bad White Walkers will be playing a much more direct role in events. Though, let’s be real, this is, what, the fourth time we’ve been promise that, and all it’s achieved is that the evil Ice Demons don’t look nearly as intimidating as they once did.

Also, Cheryl’s drum major uniform is no less hilarious after all this time. You slay, queen.

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  • Julia is a Managing Editor at The Fandomentals with far too many hobbies and complex emotions. She may or may not be an actual Martell.

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