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Kelly Marie Tran Leaves Instagram As Star Wars Fans Declare Victory, Request Diaper Change

“Yes, a Star Wars fan’s strength flows from the fandom. But beware of the dark side. Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of fandom are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will, as it did the neckbeards.”

– Yoda (probably)

It’s been three years since the dark times began, when the twenty and thirty-year-old white men who have spent over 40 years being catered to realized that other people like Star Wars too. For a while, it seemed like they were content to whine and cry on Reddit or Twitter as they mourned their “fallen” franchise. But when Rian Johnson dared to allow an ASIAN WOMAN into their beloved space-kino, one who wasn’t wearing a low cut sexy dress and had a character all her own; all bets were off.

It was SUCH a travesty that the little man-children, who until this point have put up with racist caricatures of Asians, Jamaicans, Jews, and Arabs, even produced a  45-minute “De-feminized” cut of The Last Jedi that removed all women from the film. Still unsatisfied, they’ve spent the last year endlessly harassing Rian Johnson, John Boyega, and even Mark Hamill. But their most hate-filled rants, screamed so loud they spilled their Mountain Dew, were saved for Kelly Marie Tran. 

Taking shit from brain dead morons is not new for actors, and that goes double for the people working on Star Wars films, who somehow attract, hands down, the neck-beardiest, pepe-memiest, alt-right tendy consuming fans in history. But its gotten to the point where Kelly Marie Tran, who is by all accounts a human ray of sunshine (and a Star Wars fan!), has been driven off of Instagram by “fans” who would cream their unwashed Boba Fett jammies if someone like Kelly Marie Tran even gave them the time of day.

Just to recap: basement dwelling neanderthal NEETS were so pissed over a non-white woman who didn’t give them boners that they harassed her off of her own private social media.

What’s the point of fandom after that? How can anyone say “Yes, I’m a Star Wars fan,” when people like that are the most public face of the fandom. What’s the fucking point. Who cares how many girls look up to Rey, or little kids collect the LEGO, or how many Asian fans could finally see themselves reflected in their favorite space fantasy. It’s all gonna get ruined when Disney, or Kathleen Kennedy, or any actual artist dares to mess with some lonely fucker’s “childhood” and he has to wade in as loudly as possible and drown all the good out with his putrid bullshit.

Solo is a movie that is almost entirely white and panders to these same assholes. And it’s currently a massive bomb. A Star Wars film is bombing. Even Attack of the Clones was a blockbuster. Meanwhile “SJW Wars,” the fully feminized cut with Kelly Marie Tran front and center, is the ninth highest grossing film ever. She will be back, she’s going to be in Episode IX, and then she’ll keep making millions of dollars while you’re still making sad, racist memes on 4chan in between shifts at Gamestop.

In other words:


Images Courtesy of Twitter, Disney Lucasfilm, Instagram, and Wookiepedia

Dan Arndt
Written By

Fiction writer, board game fanatic, DM Currently working towards an MFA. If you have a dog, I'd very much like to pet it. Operating out of Wichita and Indianapolis.

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